Reeling in the years.

 I've been thinking a lot about life lately. I turned 65 this year. That's an age only old people turned. What happened? I have experienced Hawaiian beaches, Colorado mountains, Alabama country roads and the experience of being a dad. I've been through open heart surgery and I've seen the fridge full and the fridge empty. It's all a journey and I'm thankful for food, shelter and companionship.

I've learned the art of letting go of the need to control every situation. I wear my feelings on my sleeve often. But when they get knocked off I pick em up brush them off and keep going. 

I've been drunk, stoned and I've misplaced my keys and my car. I've been baptized, born again, agnostic and prayed, scoffed and argued religion and politics. I've read the bible and a little of The Tibetan Book of the Dead. I've been in church revivals and sit ZaZen meditation. I've watched sitcoms and I've watched porn. I've sit in awe of the vastness of who and what we would call God and I've felt the raw animal fear of being afraid I was going to die. 

65 years. That's a lot of rock and roll. Lots of regrets and hopes and fears and dreams. Life has rarely been as easy and magical as I wanted and it's never been as bad or devastating as I feared. 

I often hear people especially in the age of social media make sweeping statements. Just do this, vote this way, think this, read that and God, the universe, science and all life will work "just so."

At 65 I now say what I think. Sometimes too much. I was in the store the other day and I realized that the inner dialogue that I've had since I was young was actually coming out of my mouth. Oh my goodness! Thinking is one thing but when you start mumbling to yourself you look like either a crazy old fart. Maybe just a cute little old dude thinking out loud or call security because there's a nut walking through the store mumbling to himself.

One thing I do these days is tell friends and family I love them. I sometimes think that I hope my friends don't misunderstand. I'm not flirting or trying to get myself in trouble. At my age i'm busy trying to survive A-fib, floaters in my eye and hoping I don't see blood in the toilet. 

When I say I love you I mean just that. I love you and you're important to me. No strings attached. 

So what have I learned in over 6 decades? That there really isn't a one size fits all answer to life. We all walk around in our own unique journey and the best that I can do is follow my inner compass. For me that's prayer and meditation and treating others the way I want to be treated. 

I have learned to try and love without demanding anything in return. I've learned to see past a persons skin color, religion or political beliefs. I've learned to bite my tongue around far left woke people and far right religious people. I've also learned not to attend every argument I'm invited to. Especially if it's given by an atheist, Christian or political zealot. I'll gladly discuss politics, religion and sexuality. But I won't beat you over the head or argue endlessly about nit picking the human spiritual, physical and mental journey. 

Personally. I'm a person who is still on the journey. I do have hard earned views about life. But I mostly "Keep my visions to myself." as Stevie Nicks sang. 

Peace