Is it life or a dream?

 Meditation: I first got into meditation years ago. But, I didn't really practice it regularly until around 2015 or so when I was having a really hard time due to an unexpected financial event that threatened my peace of mind and ability to make a living. Thankfully with intense meditation, prayer and a supporting wife things worked out. But, I also got busy and meditation has been more sporadic for a while. However, this time after retiring I have again started or at least tried to do regular practice. Thankfully, my practice this time isn't out of depression or worry but for the peace and focus it brings. I also use it at night to help me fall asleep. Yoga Nidra helps with that. It's not physical yoga so I'm not twisting myself into a pretzel. It's a technique of stillness and bringing attention to the body in order to observe and still the constant motion. 

One of the most intense things for me with meditation happened not long ago. I was listening to a yoga nidra guided meditation. In the space between waking and sleeping I found myself inside an intense bright light. It was brighter than the sun but didn't burn or hurt my eyes. I only stayed there a few moments but it was something I'll never forget. I was at peace. It reminded me that I'm more than the sum total of my body parts or a chemical reaction in my brain. I think God uses things like that to clear out the pipes once in a while and remind me that this is a dream. A very persistent wonderful, tragic dream but still compared to forever it's a dream.

I had been having some flashes of that light in dreams leading up to the experience of being in the light. Also, I have since my youth had moments of having my head fill with a soft light during the period between waking and sleep. Meditation for me is like prayer only instead of a religious shopping list I'm trying to listen instead of talking and vocally asking for stuff.

I don't do religion anymore. I'm not mad at religion like some atheists I've met who were former Christians. Talk about anger. But, some have good reason to be angry. I'm just not one of them.Religion and fire and brimstone just seem silly to me and actually cruel when people think that they have to please an angry old man in the sky who "loves" them so much that he will allow the flames of their torment to waft up forever. Yikes! No thanks, I'm driving. But, if it works for you (and it worked for me in my youth) then more power to you. Just understand I'm not buying it anymore and haven't for years.

I also don't buy atheism. To think that the world is just a sperm lottery and all the pain of ;the holocost and the slavery of people and  rape of women and all the cancer wards and children torutred is just luck of the draw and dead is dead? Insane. No, I don't think existence works like that. But, that is part of a longer post about why I'm not an atheist. But in all honesty I don't think it matters what religion you believe or even if you are an atheist or Muslim or Christian or whatever. I truly have only one religion. That religion is "Treat others the way you want to be treated." I think once we die we will find ourselves much like we do in this life. On a plane of existence that resonates with our own inner life and maybe even more so. But, that's my opinion and I'm sure I'm welcome to it. 

Reincarnation: I had past life memories from my childhood. But, I didn't even know that past life was back then and so I didn't really follow up and by the time I was able to read and research for myself those memories were way in the past and hard to really pull up. Still, it resonates with me. Not because I desire it which is what some people might think. But, because it makes sense to me. I've also had some lucid dreams and met a person or two along the way that felt familiar to me like an old friend or a long lost loved one. Doesn't happen often but it does happen. 

It makes more sense than an angry god who tells a powerful evil angel to go to the earth and if you can fool those naked apes into following you I will burn them in torment. But, if they say the magic words before they die then no matter if they have been evil or murder somebody I'll give them heaven. But, even if they feed the poor and love their neighbor if they don't say the magic words then I'll torment them. To show how much I love them. So as I said before. I don't do religion.

On the other hand I don't do atheism either. Because of my own experiences and because of sanity. To think that we are just a byproduct of a primordial soup is laughable. To think that the way evolution which is so precise and wondrous in the way life proceeds is all an accident is very unlikely.  Also, to think as I said before that all the suffering of creation means nothing means the universe is evil at best and insane at worst. 

Another reason I lean towards reincarnation is that it makes sense. The fact is that science back in the day thought life came from death. They saw that rotten meat had maggots and flies and assumed that therefore matter produced life. That seems laughable now but it is what it is. But, even now to think that an organ in my head is responsible for everything I am will one day also seem laughable. At least that's what I think and it really does look that way because regardless of skeptics saying that there is not proof of psychic phenomena there are all kinds of studies that have been done over the years that show the statistical relevance of ESP and other psi. Also, the studies of past life memories in children by Dr. Ian Stevenson and the University of Virginia Department of Perceptual Studies.

 I don't see anything in the sperm and the egg itself that would contain an eternal spirit or produce consciousness. So to me it seems likely that if we are eternal manifestations of consciousness then we have no beginning or ending in flesh. Consciousness is primary and matter is secondary. Not the other way around. So, those people waiting for life to emerge from the brain are like those scientists from the 17th century or so waiting for rotten meat to produce life. Not calling my brain rotten meat. Not yet anyway. Just saying that it is a receiver/conductor and not first cause. As Wordsworth said we really do come to this world "Trailing Clouds of Glory." 

I understand that this is my opinion and I'm not trying to upset anybody's view of reality. I'm not trying to put down faith or anybody's view of science. I love science. I see because of glasses and I walk around in this world because of heart surgery. I love faith. I was baptised as a child and have had a lift long inner dialog with "God" be it the times I called Jesus, Holy Spirit or Father. I just no longer feel God fits in a box and I no longer feel God is a "he." But, that's okay because I don't even know for sure what kind of being I am, much less how to totally define the Divine. 

So, anyway, that's my thoughts right now. Sometimes I just like to type them out and see what they look like on paper. Will people see them and think "OMG, he's lost his ever loving mind," Or my Southern friends and family think "Bless his Heart." which for the Northerners means "OMG, he's lost his ever loving mind." Anyway it's a  journey and I'm still in the midst of it. 

I wish you Peace. 

Lisey's Story Revue

 Wow! Great immersive story. I've been reading Stephen King since the 70's. At 64 I am a long time Constant Reader. So this wasn't my first time reading "Lisey's Story." I actually didn't like it at all when I first read it. Through the year's many of the people who like Stephen King still dislike this book. It's a little meandering and there is the intimate story of a marriage told in flashback style all through the novel.

But once you fall through the hole in the page it's a story that comes alive in your mind. The supernatural elements seem to fit seamlessly so that you don't really have to suspend belief to accept them. They are just there. Of course. Like preferring cream in your coffee or sugar in your tea. Just part of the narrative. 

Stephen King was quoted somewhere as saying this was his best work or his favorite work. I thought "yeah right." yawn. But, I realized I had rushed through it when I first read it. I also realized I didn't even really remember the plot. So, I found it months ago in a Dailey Deal for Amazon Kindle. $2.99 or whatever it was that day is a steal for a Stephen King novel. 

So, I finally downloaded it to my Fire and started reading it slowly. Kind of read a little then go on to other books or TV or whatever. Then I found the hole in the page at some point. Lisey became alive and I wondered how she was doing with Scott and her sisters. The space cowboy (you have to read it for that to make sense) and the pie bald long boy. 

Being retired I now have more time to savor a book. If you want a quick, lean read this isn't it. But, if you want to get caught up in a story and the inner life of a character and relationship this is good. I know that sounds like a romance and I'm not into that.

But, trust me. This isn't a romance bodice ripper. This is blood and guts narrative with horror, crime and relationships. I can finally see why Stephen King is so high on this book. I like Salem's Lot and The Shining more as far as ranking books. But, this one has more depth. Highly recommended.