Constant Reader!

 If you know what I mean by "Constant Reader" you might be a Stephen King fan. No, not the drivel that passes in Hollywood for Stephen King's work. That has it's place and I like a good movie with artery clogging buttered popcorn and a 62 oz cup of pure adrenalin caffeine and sugar. Coke or Pepsi as much as the next guy. 

Actually I can enjoy a bad movie in a theatre much easier than I tolerate a bad book. A movie simply asks that I be a passive observer for around 90 minutes and enjoy the eye candy. But, a book demands the majority of my complete attention over a few days or a week or more. So a movie that critics bash such as several years ago "Lost in Space" might have enough cool alien space ships or deep space battles to at least keep my attention. But, a book has to grab me by the throat and throttle me with the absolute need to find out what ultimately happens to a character or to think about the plot while I'm eating lunch. 

Also as I have become more and more disenchanted with far right and far left echo chambers I've found myself cringing at some of the stupidity of otherwise intelligent "celebrities." my favorite author included. 

Full Disclosure: i'm not a religious conservative. I'm not a secular humanist leftist. But, I am absolutely free speech. I'm anti censorship. I will defend my opinion to you. But I will also defend your right to state your opinion. I'm appalled at how quickly some folks I agree with politically or admire for their work will casually defend censorship when the speaker makes them uncomfortable. 

I remember my grandmother as a woman who lived her faith. You might have honestly disagreed with some of her religious views but, you could never rightfully call her a hypocrite. She had  good old fashioned Southern Appalachian common sense. She used to say it was better that you not know every little human fault of your pastor. Because on Sunday morning if he's bringing the word of God you might not listen if you're thinking about how rude he was to the waitress during dinner yesterday.

Same thing with authors, actors and baseball player's. We know so much now from social media that it colors our view of their work. When it comes to Stephen King. I remember when he wrote characters based on their actions and not on how they voted or how they felt about men becoming women or if a female writer such as J.K. Rowling has the right to defend what it means to be a woman and might know a little more than he does about what that means. 

So. Now for the fun part. Before Twitter and The Donald. Before Sleepy Joe and vaccine wars. All I knew about my favorite authors, rock stars and movie stars was their work. I liked them all much better then. Here are the 5 early Stephen king books that made me a fan or Constant Reader. Ranked in order of my favorites.

1. Salem's Lot:

 I'm somewhere between 18 and 19 years old. Mid to late 1970's. I read mostly horror back then. I was at the bookstore in the Gadsden (Alabama) Mall. I pick up a book and read the blurb on back. Sounds like something I might like.A clerk comes over and says "this young King guy is really getting popular." you'll like this one. The rest as they say. Is History. I devoured it. I was hooked.I actually felt bad that I had to finish it. I wanted more as soon as possible. How had this Yankee writer made a small New England town seem so much like a small Southern town characters and all. Of course now Stephen King is well known for his Americana. But, then? He was unique. 

Also for younger folks we didn't have Netflix or YouTube and we had only 3 tv networks. So getting lost in a book wasn't as hard as it is now.

2. The Shining:

Before the Kubric movie (which is classic)this was my introduction to a large haunted hotel in the middle of no where. A little boy with a special ability and an "imaginary friend" loving (unlike the movie) mother and father. The dad was flawed but not mean and not bat crap crazy. Not yet anyway. The atmosphere, the hedges and the room. A fun haunted read.

3. The Stand: 

Some people used to joke about how a Stephen King novel always had Stephen King in bold letters on the cover and the title as kind of an afterthought. One of the books that helped that along was "The Stand" Talk about a thick character driven taste of Americana. As he called it in that long ago forward to the book "This dark tale of Christianity." Great stuff.

4. Carrie: 

I loved the Sissy Spacek movie. Having graduated in the 70's I think they did a great job.The book is told in a series of newspaper articles after the fact. Unique for it's time and still holds up. I recently re-read it. 

5. Night Shift:

I loved this first short story collection. If memory serves John D. MacDonald a very popular mystery author of the 1960's wrote a really good forward for the still young author Stephen King. For some reason I connect this book with the old Agricola Shopping Center in Gadsden. But, I don't think it had a bookstore. Funny how memory works. I do still remember I enjoyed it.

I don't read as much fiction as I once did. I'm easily distracted in my old age and I prefer ebooks. Easier to adjust the font and lighting. But, I always enjoyed the heft and smell of a good thick book back in the day. A six pack of beer (which I no longer do.) and that's a good thing. With a thick Stephen King novel would provide a sometimes blurry but always fun adventure into an alternate universe.

Peace! 

Leaving 2021. Me and Jesus driving down the interstate.

I've been lately thinking about my life's time. All the things I've done, how it's been. And I can't help believing in my own mind. I know I'm gonna hate to see it end....John Denver.

New Year's Eve found me driving down the interstate on my way To watch the Alabama semi final playoff game with a childhood friend. It also gave me the chance to reflect on life and have a little talk with Jesus. I used to do a year end walk in my young adult day's. Walk in the woods and think about life. Pray and meditate about the regrets and experience of the past year and my hopes for the coming year. I think from around 1978 or so through most of the 80's this was my annual tradition. Somewhere in the 90's life got easier then more hectic and my traditional walk wasn't always as easy to complete.

So here I was with about a 1&1\2 to 2 hour drive ahead of me. So in light holiday traffic I eased over in the far right lane turned off the radio and started my review and talk with the source of my sanity and my life. I won't go into personal detail because as a wise woman once said to me "Steve, some things you don't discuss with anybody except God."

I'm now 64 years old. I look in the mirror expecting to see the long haired hazel eyed smooth cheeked young man of my late teens and early 20's looking back at me. instead I see this balding fat little old dude and it's hard for me to comprehend.  Not impossible. Just a little weird.

Last year more and more people retreated to their echo chambers. They took a stand! If you call being fed propaganda by Tucker Carlson or Rachel Maddow  or Whoppi Goldberg or Margery Taylor Green taking a stand. My friend proudly announced he only listens or gets news from Breitbart. I have other facebook friend who thinks Chris Cuamo is legitimate as a news source. No wonder liberals and conservatives stay so mad at each other all the time.

So me and Jesus let the political crap alone. It's a nice ride. We talk about free will, death, God, sex, loved ones both here and on the flipside, my concerns for my teenage son and if my mileage worn tires are going to survive the trip from Northport to Birmingham and back. "Spoiler Alert." They Do!

In my 64th year I've learned a few things. I let people be who they are. I don't preach at them and I don't take preaching from them. Another wise person. This time a wise horribly flawed wonderful man and casual mentor once said "Steve. Accept the part of people that they are willing to share with you. Stop trying to change them or make them give more of themselves than they are willing to share with you."

So, if you have been willing to be my friend in the flesh or on Facebook I thank you for sharing that little part of yourself with me this year. We can agree or disagree on politics, God, or how much time or mutual interest we have in common.

Life's a journey. Just remember that we all have hopes, dreams and we all wake up in our own skin everyday. Until we wake up at home!

"How Long It's been since yesterday and what about tomorrow? What about our dreams and all the memories we share?".... John Denver " Poems, Prayers and Promises"


Peace!

The past.

 Be here now. I hear that a lot. The past is gone and all we have is today. When the devil brings up my past God reminds me of my future. We have only this moment. I'm a different person now. These are all well and good. I don't have a problem with living right now. 

But, my past is entwined with who I am. Where I've been has molded me and taught me and has left scars that I carry with me to where I am now and where I'm going. I don't want to forget my past. I learned from it.

 As a matter of fact I love that little long haired lost teenager more now than I did then. That's because I understand him better now. 

I'm still the same person that has always looked out of these eyes. I'm more experienced now. I have more inner tools to deal with life now. I react with a little more calm and a little more reason and wisdom now. But, I'm still here. 

I miss the people I used to take for granted. I'm sorry it took me so long to wake up. But, it's part of who I am. I think about my past a lot. I no longer run from it.

 I won't go into the details now. But, when I hear some upper class millennial running their mouth about old white men and privilege I always think: ya know if you had of lived my "privilege" you would most likely be curled up in the corner sucking your thumb and waiting for death or insanity to take you. Don't Ever judge me on my skin color. You don't know where I've been or the dark hole I've climbed out of.

That being said I am thankful for every breath I draw. Not because I think when I die I'll be obliterated. I don't. Not because I believe an angry old man in the sky will condemn me. I don't. But, because every breath here is a gift and it will be a part of my past in an infinite journey.

I don't regret my past these day's. How much did I used to regret it? Well when I first got a job in my home County and was finally doing well I once heard someone behind me calling my name. 

But, I was so scarred from my past that I didn't look back. Not because I didn't hear them and not because I was a jerk. But, because I didn't want to hear from my past. That voice was from the past. I've always regretted that because whoever it was they were trying to greet me. I was being a jerk. I wasn't trying to be. But, in my headlong running from My past I was being a jerk.

So I no longer run from my past. I don't live in it. But I take the good and the hope of it and treasure it. I don't forget where I come from. 

The only way back is forward...Dean Koontz

I feel that if I keep going forward the circle of life will bring me back around to my eternal tribe. So I keep going because somewhere my past, present and future will meet and I'll know myself for the first time. Again.

I'm a bit of a baseball history buff. I can't tell you the 2021 All-star team. But, I can tell you the 1971 pitching staff of the Baltimore Orioles and I'm an Atlanta Braves fan. But baseball has an old cliche after hitting a homerun. "Touch em all." that means when you round those bases you touch every base even though you have a free pass home. You can't skip first just because your heading home. 

That's how I feel about the past these days. As I pass the years towards home I want to touch em all. Past, present, future and Home!

I started this particular blog after playing my guitar. That happens sometimes. When I pick it up and strike that first chord my life passes before me. I'm 6 years old listening to my mother sing country music. Then I'm 13 listening to Badfinger and looking at a girl in my Jr. High gym. Then I'm 19 stoned and cranking up Foghat in the late 70's. Then I'm 42 and playing Vinyard worship songs and then I'm 64 and trying to croak out the lyrics to my old favorite Southern Rock songs.

But, I'm touching em all. 

Peace

Podcasts, youtube and me.

I often screw up and try to discuss religion or politics with my family and old friend's. Not a good idea in the age of Facebook snappy comebacks and emojis. But, once in a while I like to discuss issues of interest in certain Facebook groups. One thing I've always done as a young person that I don't do in my later years is haunt libraries. The Gadsden Public Library staff used to go ahead and put the newest Stephen King novel on hold for me because they knew I was coming. 😉 I also stayed in the stacks devouring books about God, science, reincarnation, life after death and UFO's.

But, most folks these day's don't have time and neither do i to read every book or watch every YouTube video on a subject. But, while doing chores and exercising I enjoy listening to YouTube podcasts. So, I thought I would blog about my top 3. These are the 3 that if I were beamed aboard a UFO and had to show where some of my later life worldview came from I could probably find at least some discussion of it. 

So here are the top 3 podcasts I would recommend if you're looking for deep thought and serious dialog on things your Very Christian Mother or Very Atheistic college professor won't discuss with you. ✌

1. Jeffery Mislove "New Thinking Allowed." From reincarnation to a professor of a major university to Simulation Theory to Mind at Large.From priest to doctor and psychedelic use for enlightenment. This is an excellent podcast. Jeffery Mislove has been at this since the early 70's and is the only (as far as I know) Person ever awarded a PHD in parapsychology from an accredited university. I believe it was The University of California/Berkley but I could be wrong.

2. "Buddha at the Gas Pump" by Rick Archer. In depth interviews with people traveling the spiritual path. From Christianity in the Thomas Merton mystical tradition to Eastern though such as Buddhism, Hinduism and students and teachers and researchers along the path. From reincarnation as Eastern philosophy to Western university and clinical studies. Lots of normal people just sharing their journey. Not for everyone and often I find some of it tedious. But, real diamonds in the mix. 

3. "Theories of Everything" with Kurt Jaimungal. 

Last but probably the best. Very in depth interviews with thinkers, scientists, UFO researchers, Materialistic scientists, Life after death, Consciousness, atheism, personalities and mystics. These are often 2 to 3 and 4 hour multi part interviews. 

Now I have no guru and no religion or authority to sell you. My journey is on going and while I do have my own worldview it is just that. My worldview. Not something I demand that you believe in order to please my version of God or science or reality. 

But, if you like to dip in and out of the latest thoughts and thinkers. If you wonder if there is anybody talking about things you believe in or are interested in beyond people screaming at you on Facebook. Then here are my top 3 podcasts to get started. 

For now. My journey and my opinions are not changing with the wind. But they are open to change.

Peace! ✌

Spooky Season

 No live organism can continue for long to exist safely under conditions of absolute reality....The Haunting of Hill House. "Shirley Jackson"

I love Halloween and haunted houses. My favorite movie is based on the Shirley Jackson novel "The Haunting of Hill House." 1963 version. There is a 1990's remake I believe but you can safely skip that one. Back when I was a little kid I was watching this black and white movie on TV. 

Even larks and Katydids are supposed by some to dream. ..Shirley Jackson

Lost in my own childish daydreams I didn't realize my mother had walked out of the room. All of a sudden I notice some spooky music coming from the TV.

Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against it's hills, holding darkness within...Shirley Jackson

In Spooky  black and white I see an adult lady talking to statues and pretending to dance in some garden or court of an old house. But, OMG! That statue moved and she's thinking and her thoughts are loud and scared and 😱

It had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more...Shirley Jackson

I looked around. Where did mother go? I think the smart thing to do now is run out of the den. But, I'd have to run right past the TV. Better to wait for the next commercial.

Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, and whatever walked there. Walked alone...The Haunting of Hill House "Shirley Jackson."

But, that commercial break couldn't break the spell. I stayed and cringed and was scared of every sound and every creak. I saw staircases where a governess hung herself. An old lady who first came to the house as a newborn but grew old and died banging her cane on the walls.

Two young women participating in a psychic experiment over a weekend at the house. Hearing banging on the wall. The one from the statue moving in the garden thinking in her head "why are you squeezing my hand also hard?"  Finally yelling out loud for her roommate to "Let Go Of My Hand" then it's gone and she hears the roommates voice clear across the room in the dark. "I've not been holding your hand!" 😰😱

Then you hear the lady talking in her own head again "Oh God. God. What was holding my hand? 😰😧

My little boy self was terrified. I never forgot that movie. Many years later I bought it on DVD. Restored and remastered and it still works! Glorious and scary. Black and white and paranoid. 

Horror movie buffs have often wondered and debated if the ghosts were real or psychological. Shirley Jackson passed at the young age of 48. But, a writer on the movie said he had always thought they were psychological. 

So he asked Shirley Jackson back then if the ghosts were supposed to be real. She said "they are real."

My 8 year old self could have told him that. 👻

Happy Halloween Season! 🎃👻

Life, death and other boxes.

 I learned the truth at seventeen. That love was meant for beauty queens...Janis Ian

i know you were not born into perfection and I'm sorry that you had to go through what you did. It's hard and life isn't always fair. Being born with any condition less than perfection isn't always fair. It changed the trajectory of your life. It changed a lot of things but you still lived a life. And anything you came here with. You didn't lose. Your being. Your self. Your "I Am." No power. No entity in heaven or earth or the cosmos could take that from you. Nothing could suck your soul out of your being or steal it out of your pocket.

As a matter of fact there is no ruler of darkness trying or able to take your being. There may be forces psychological or spiritual causing you great fear. But, this is the dream. Not your being and not your consciousness. This life is the dream. Persistent, horrible, hopeful and tragically wonderful.

You're a part of everything and nothing that exists could work without you. So whatever the reason is for you being here. Whatever way and circumstance your birth or entry point was. You have purpose. You have reason. 

The above is a part of how I imagined a conversation with God might have gone if I could have listened in my troubled youth.

I think a lot about what the world is. What it's about. I was talking To my oldest friend. I mentioned something about my worldview. But, I kept it light hearted. Because when you're born and raised in Alabama. Not only Alabama but certainly in the South there is a certain mind set and tradition that you're born into.  Being from Alabama you have that Southern Baptist theology. Whether you're Baptist, Methodist, Church of God, Pentecostal or any other flavor of Bible belt theology. 

I imagine it's like being Catholic if you're from the Northeast. You may not be a Catholic but you have been around Catholic schools, theology and it's part of the fabric. Or maybe you're Jewish. Or if you're from Afghanistan or Iraq then you're more than likely Muslim. You might be devout or you might not be. But, by birth and cultural tradition you identify.

If you're born to a materialistic or secular humanist family  then perhaps any religion or spiritual belief is b.s. to you. Maybe you have made an uneasy alliance with total obliteration and still manage to convince yourself that your existence means something. And maybe it does. Whatever you can dance to and find your rhythm I can respect you on a personal level.

Even though I sincerely can't find hope in the sterile worldview of Bill Nye the Science Guy. I can understand not buying the angry big daddy in the sky that creates humans and then gets pissed at them for being human. And loves them as long as they say the magic words otherwise he will quite literally allow them to be tormented and tortured in fire forever. 

Or Jesus as the long suffering servant who the father loved so much that he had him tortured and murdered Just for you. He's coming back and he's pissed.

So much of our worldview comes as cultural and authoritarian interaction from our youth and society. 

So my oldest friend. While he can accept bodies knitting back together and coming out of tombs and Virgin births. Or at least give lip service to it. It's just our theological cultural tradition. Matter of fact he likely "believes" that on some level. 

I have another friend in Colorado that didn't believe in any spiritual reality. We were talking one day and he said that the universe was expanding. I asked what was it expanding into and if it was expanding into something then something must already exist. I pointed out that if I moved through space or expanded through space there had to at least be space. He got really angry and changed the subject. But, he really respected Cindy's intellect and one night I had a dream. The next day I told her of the outcome of a coming event. It didn't concern us. It was a pro football game. But, I had dreams in the past that were pre cognitive and this felt like that. It happened and later she related this to my friend. It didn't fit his worldview but he did say he would put it away and think about it later. The point being that atheists don't like to think any harder than religious people do about things that challenge their view of reality.

So when I come along and say I think consciousness is eternal and everything comes from consciousness awareness my old friends might say "what are you. A space cadet?" I mean a meaningless purpose less universe from nothing but dead matter? Sure. That's science(it isn't. But, that's another argument.) Angry God and eternal fire and talking snakes? Sure. That's God's love.  (It isn't) 

But the only thing we know for sure is we are conscious. Whatever that is. 

I've learned to hide my interest in ufo's. Little green men. Hardy, har, har. But, the religious silliness and atheistic depression? Sure. Pick a lane. But, if you think the universe is full of consciousness and life then you better keep it to yourself. 

You're born into a box and you have to choose which box. You have to put God in a box. The universe in a box. Science in a box. Don't you dare get out of the box or decide that boxes aren't always needed.

I also met (on facebook) a millennial author who is also from Alabama. He also decided the religious dogma was b.s. but he decided he was a devout atheist. He enjoys attacking faith. He's smart but as Jerry Clower  (Google this great Southern comedian) if you don't know who he is. But, as Jerry said "This guy is educated way above his intelligence." The millennial author made the silly statement that there was absolutely no evidence to suggest that consciousness was real apart from the human brain. Now you can be religious or atheist. I really don't care. But, when you stupidly deny hope for me then I get irritated. There are decades of research into ESP, Remote viewing, verification evidence of non local knowing apart from the brain. Children remembering past life's. Google The University of Virginia Department of Perceptual Studies and Doctor Jim Tucker. You might not come away convinced. I'm not convinced myself. I keep a healthy skeptical open mind. But to say absolutely no evidence is just lying at worst and ignorance at best.

As a matter of fact Jessica Utts who is a well regarded statistics professor stated that by any other scientific standard ESP would have already been proven. But materialism can't admit it. 

I know it sounds like as a person raised Christian that I'm bashing the faith. I don't mean to. I call myself a Jesus Follower. Because I relate to the one who said feed the hungry and clothe the poor. He didn't say drug test them first. He Said or at least the parable of the Good Samaritan says bind up the wounded and treat the stranger as brother or sister.

When you take away the dogma of Rome such as virgin births and realize the local preacher spouting fire and brimstone doesn't know much if anything about biblical history. The culture, society or original Greek, Aramaic or Hebrew the scriptures were written in. That they don't understand that the church of Rome decided what was god breathed in theology. Then you realize that their religious fanaticism doesn't really make sense.

For me. The incarnation no longer means an angry old man in the sky full of blood lust who created a child and called its birth a sin. Who would consign creatures to eternal fire or oblivion. Who would leave any creature in torment for eternity and call it love. 

Some evangelical folks don't realise that falling on your face and constantly telling a meglo  maniac on a throne how wonderful he is while calling yourself an unworthy worm isn't much of a heaven. So trying to frighten people by telling them they won't be able to spend eternity with people like that isn't as much of a threat as they think it is.

The incarnation to me is the eternal consciousness or love from which everything springs. loving me and all creatures and creation enough to come here and be a part of our journey. A hero might run into a house to pull you out but, only if he can. otherwise he leaves. But, love runs into the burning house. And seeing that he/she can't pull their loved one out. Then love sits down beside the victim and decides that it won't leave even at the cost of physical precious life.  That's Jesus to me. That's why I'm not a Christian. I'm A Jesus Follower. And on the final breath I might find that my perception of God or universe or Goddess isn't exactly correct. As a matter of fact I know it's not. But, Love never fails. I'm not being arrogant when I say. I'm not wrong about that.

Peace!

Echo chambers and balance

 

I've thought a lot about my nation and the state of the world.  I can only read the history I have available about the civil war or the founding of our country and the revolutionary war. Same for the world wars. I lived through Vietnam but I was young and the draft ended before I was old enough to be drafted. Not much before. But, still before. 

That being said as a 60 plus year old man I can honestly state. I have never seen the country or the world for that matter in pockets and echo chamber's as angry, divided and self righteous  as today. Of course back in the olden days of 1976 😱 we didn't have the interweb's and the social media we do today. Now day's if I post something in Alabama it is immediately available to the entire planet. Not that the planet cares. Just that it is.

I was listening to the British personality Russell Brand on YouTube. By the way he is well worth checking out. He referenced a study conducted by a liberal or at least moderately liberal group. This is where it gets interesting because the findings are very much Not pro left or right. First they had a liberal group of people and put them in a room and asked about current events. Then did the same with conservative people. 

Of course the two groups gave the angry one sided answers you would expect.

 Then they took the liberal group and shared some actual feelings of conservatives with them. Not the mean old inbred white devil snark of Saturday Night Live or the self righteous dribble of Rachell Maddow. Then they took the conservatives and shared honest stories of liberal people about healthcare needs and treating people with respect instead of the silly screeching of Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity.

Guess what happened? The liberal group softened their attitudes towards conservatives and the conservatives softened their attitudes towards liberals. Amazing! Makes me think we are getting played by big business and big pharma and politicians with self interest. 

Now the answer in my opinion isn't to watch Fox News as a liberal or MSNBC as a conservative. The answer is to watch whatever you want to watch. But, remember to follow the money and keep an open minded skepticism. Hold em all accountable. 

If you're interested in the experiment here is a link to the discussion. Either way just remember to hold them all accountable

https://youtu.be/XDYLInUgbBg