Review: Killing Kennedy

  Looking up at my mother crying over my 6 year old body in an ambulance. That's my answer to the question "Where were you on the day  President Kennedy was shot?" I had crossed the road in my neighborhood in Walnut Park in Gadsden, Alabama and gotten hit by a car. I think I read somewhere that C.S. Lewis also died that day. At any rate the assassination of President Kennedy scarred this nation's psyche like no other single event until 9-11 in my lifetime. So, it was with great interest that I read "Killing Kennedy" by Bill O'Reilly and historian Martin Dugard. I had already been surprised by how much I enjoyed reading "Killing Lincoln." I didn't think I could have enjoyed a book by Bill O'Reilly since I'm not a real zealot when it comes to picking a political party. I have my opinions but I don't see it as good vs evil. More like bad vs badder. But, back to the topic.
 I enjoy a good conspiracy theory and I don't get real worked up or mad about "proving" one right or wrong. So, I have read a few articles and started a few books that dealt with the "conspiracy" to kill the president. I put them in the category of u.f.o's and psychics. Interesting but ya got to wade through a lot of b.s.  I knew this book wouldn't be that type and would stick to more of the facts as they are known. It really brought the president and those times back and gave a "human" face back to Jackie Kennedy and to the president that some of the glitter and pop culture had taken from them. The background conflict between Bobby Kennedy and L.B.J. was also interesting as was a cameo or two by Herbert Hoover and Frank Sinatra. Marlyn Monroe and Greta Garbo. John and Caroline Kennedy and the baby Patrick that died shortly after coming into this world. The war experience of J.F.K. and the time his ship went down and he took charge to get him and his men rescued while behind enemy lines in the pacific. But, it wasn't fluff and also showed the hesitation at the Bay Of Pigs in Cuba that cemented Castro's power. Kennedy had some reservations about Vietnam but was still of the mindset that we couldn't let it fall to the communist. The civil rights movement and Martin Luther King as well as Birmingham are touched on. Also, the famous photo of the Buddhist Monk who set himself on fire in Vietnam is touched on. If you were born in the late 50's or early 60's these were themes you knew well from childhood and school. It also goes into some detail on the famous Cuban Missile Crisis and the president stood his ground and we are all better off because of it. If you were born before the 50's you lived these times as a young person or an adult and it is indeed a glimpse of history. I can easily recommend this to history buffs and especially American history fans such as myself. But, I do take some issues. While I admire the fact that the writers don't try to completely discredit all the questions surrounding the possible conspiracy talk. They don't always make the full case that Oswald had the proper motive. On the other hand how can somebody really ever know the "motive" for killing another human in cold blood? They do go to pains to point out that Oswald did indeed have the required "skill" to make the shot and also make good case for the so called "Magic Bullet" that some have used to discredit the lone assassin theory.
 Still, I remember seeing a documentary not very long ago on the assassination. It was fascinating to me because it had a wealth of archival footage even down to a local Dallas news crew. That documentary quoted a Dallas police officer on Jack Ruby. Jack Ruby is of course the nightclub owner that killed Oswald. The book "Killing Kennedy" states that Ruby had motive because he was patriotic and cared about Kennedy. But, according to the documentary I saw the Dallas officer said that if you knew Ruby then you knew that he didn't do it because of patriotism or loyalty to the nation. So, I guess you can take that for what it's worth. I just think maybe the authors didn't bother to do a whole lot of homework on the assassin of the assassin. There are some things we just don't know. Anyway, all in all a good quick read about a period and a man in our history that still has an impact on people of my generation and the generation before us.

Custer and Sitting Bull

The Last Stand by Nathaniel Philbrick:


  I have always been a voracious reader. So, here is a book review from an ebook I read on my Kindle Fire. Ebooks don't have the same satisfying heft and smell to them. But, they seem easier for my 50 plus year old eyes to adjust to these days.

 This historical account is written in a similar style to "Killing Lincoln" by Rill O'Reilly and Martin Dugard. Both books are excellent by the way. The Last Stand uses letters and accounts and memories on the people who were present at that time to re-create a narrative that is both historical and reads like a semi-biography/novel. "Hey, did I just make up a new term?"

 Anyway, I have recently started reading a lot of Rock biographies from the "guitar hero's" of my youth. But, I have always loved history and in particular American History. So, this book was of real interest to me. When I think of the Little Bighorn I think of a single cavalry troop running into a large group of Indians and getting slaughtered. Anyway, let me hit some highlights that I feel really make this book interesting. First the author writes from the perspective of the 1800's and not from a modern politically correct place. So, the term "Native American" isn't ever used. To be honest I don't think most Indians of that time would have appreciated being called "American" anything. Sorry, it's just true. Also, let me say that my Granddaddy was part Cherokee and I don't mean a blued eyed "Hey, I have Indian Blood in me." I mean a high cheekboned, dark skinned person. Not, full blooded but you could see the influence. I say that so if anybody reads this they will understand that I am using the term Indian the way the author did and not out of disrespect.

 Custer: I knew very little of Custer outside of the pop culture and some mention in history books of my youth. He does appear breifly in the "Killing Lincoln" book but not as a main character. This book talks about his relationship with his wife which seemed to be strong and she was indeed a proctector of his legacy. It also shows his ambition and disrespect for some of his fellow officers. He rubbed some the wrong way because of his flamboyance. Some of them rubbed him the wrong way because of his ambition and apparent lack of concern for anything other than his "career." But, the main thing that I was taken with was his disrespect for the Indian tribes.

He (if the book is correct) had no problem at all in taking women and children hostage and using them as pawns to lure the warriors into his web. He also had no qualms about taking an Indian woman for himself. It was also evident that the government of that day with Grant as president had little reguard for the treaties and welfare of the Indian. They kept coming west and kept taking land and moving the Indian to the reservation especially if that land had minerals and water that would bring more booty into the coffers. Sorry, it's just true. Some of Custers fellow officers were ambitious and jealous but also felt he wasted lives with his wild and overreaching tactics. I was amazed to read accounts of officers drinking hard both before and during a battle.

There is an account of one of Custer's officers going to sleep in the midst of gunfire around him. Not, so much because of drink but because he was emotionally worn down. He did wake up and faught bravely once he rested up. Matter of fact it was kind of brave to be able to sleep in the midst of that. Having worked as a civillan for the army and had a spouse in the army. I was amazed at how "loose" the U.S. army of that day was. I was also amazed at how close to the 20th century the U.S. west remained a wilderness and unmapped uncharted territory. Now, this more than likely not the most accurate historical account. At least it's not a text book account. Too many accounts taken from years after the battle from people with their own agendas. But, it is a fascinating look into a time gone by.

Sitting Bull: There is a place in the book late in the book where the head of a government agency says to Sitting Bull "You scared us to death" According to the book the chief replied. "Had you not come onto our land you would have no reason to be afraid."

The Indian tribes in this book are not on the offensive (depending on your definition of offense) but mainly trying to hold on to a way of life that was being yanked out from under them. They were not a "united" people and not used to working together outside of their own tribe or people. So, the core was not going to hold long enough or strong enough to stop the inevitable. But, I got the feeling that if they had of been united the westward expansion of the U.S. would have taken much longer and been much harder. It was hard anyway.

 Sitting Bull also had a vision which seemed to show him what was about to happen before the battle. To the authors credit he doens't try to downplay or over play it. He just reccounts it. Sitting Bull seems to come off here as more of an older uncle or even father to the people.

 He does get them together one last time. He does indeed unite a large (largest camp the U.S. Army had ever witnessed up to that time.) But, reading between the lines the hold was tenacious at best and the center was holding mainly because of the young warriors agression and anger which would have eventually broken the "alliance" anyway. The Indian also had their inner drama and ambitions. It was also amazing to me to see how the Indian Scouts for the army had no qualms about killing their own "kind" off. It was also amazing at how the same indian warriors that were fighting at Little Bighorn would go back and forth from the reservation back to the camp. Sitting Bull was eventually killed by "Indian" police and not white men. This also touched on the Battle at Wounded Knee as a pay back for the Little Bighorn by the army. The accounts both from the indian and the soilder and even some of the wives of both sides read like a good novel.

I highly recomend this book to anybody who is interested in American History and in particular "Cowboys and Indians" I don't mean to be flippant because this isn't a flippant subject. But, many folks my age who grew up with accounts of the civil war and of the later cowboys and Indians and Roy Rogers and Jesse James and Wyatt Earp and of course General Amrstrong Custer will find this riviting and interesting.

Past lives?

Warning: This particular post will absolutely offend some of my oldest friends and family because of very real and intense religious convictions that they hold. It will also make some of my friends who are not into any kind of religious or spiritual talk uneasy. Of course they don't read it any way so I'm more than likely good there. :-) It is a very self serving and mainly venting post. Oh, and it will also make some folks think (if they think about it all) that I am full of uhhh, crap. :-) That said if anybody is still here then here we go.

 Why as a Christian born and raised in the south and in the church do I have such an affinity for the concept of reincarnation? I'm not sure. I still identify as a Christian. I heard the famous or infamous (depends on your point of view I guess) atheist Richard Dawkins say that if there is a God and he meets him in the afterlife that he will ask him "Sir, why did you hide yourself so well?) Now, I don't agree with Mr. Dawkins. Every breath I take, every scientific advance I read about, Every birth and every death says God to me. The very reason for living says God to me. Still, I thought about the way he said it and I have my own simple (and his reasoning for all his intelligence is simple in this regard) statement. When I die and if God comes to me and says "Ya know Jesus wasn't exclusively the savior and all religions are equal" I have a similar statement that I might say. I might say "Well, if they are all equal (and I did respect each one as far as I was able to understand them) But, if Jesus isn't who he said he was then why did you make me the way you did and birth me in the place and time that you did? I'm a Christian the same way I'm southern or American or a man. It's in my blood and my DNA spiritually to be Christian. My dogma got ran over a long time ago. I have real doubts about the theology of the "Church." I don't think the bible is a science book or a history book or a way to judge gay people and Muslims and Jews and atheist. I don't think it's a silly collection of fairy tales either. Ah, but I digress. My thoughts today are on a different "heretical" subject. The truth is that I am 75% convinced (well I had to use some number) that we reincarnate. I have felt this since I was a youth on some level. I wasn't raised to believe this. But, I had some memories that I would drive my mother nuts with. She was not and is not a believer in the concept of past lives. :-) I had really intense dreams about people that I had just "met" in grade school. I would lie in bed and faces would pass before my eyes of people I seemed to "know" but they were not part of this lifetime. Now, all this faded over the years and I can't say I am remembering everything the exact way that it happened. But, I'm older now and past the point of trying to be "accepted" by a church or a cute girl in church or making my adult relatives happy and be accepted. I don't spout this stuff at work or talk to my oldest friends about it much. I discuss it on internet message board and facebook pages that are devoted to it but never with most of my day to day relationships in the "real world." My wife doesn't share my interest and even my little boy (did I tell ya he's gifted and I'm awed by his intellect) :-) Anyway, even my 9 year old son rolls his eyes whenever he hears me mention it. So, why am I doing a blog about it? Purely for selfish reasons? Well, yes and no. I need an outlet and a blog is a great way to just put it out there. Nobody has to listen or read it or be bothered by it and I get a release. On the other hand I'm honored anytime someone does take the time to read it. But, the real reason I'm writing it is I had one of "those" dreams last night. It was filled with symbolism from my day yesterday so no big deal there. But, in the midst of it there was a thread and a "relationship" or experience from the days of my childhood running through it. I'm not gonna go into it but I just needed to write this blog today.

For anybody still reading I do want to say something about life after death and life before life and my way of looking at life. I have gone through many stages in my 50 plus years on the planet. I have been born again and baptised and I will never forget the sanctity and the feeling of my first baptism. I have a pretty good liberal arts education and have wondered how and what could possibly survive the death of the body. I'm meditated and have tremendous respect for Buddhism. But, I'm not Buddhist. I have looked into psychics and think most of em are full of crap and many are self deceived. Still, there are times when I know or have known something and I can't say there is absolutely nothing to it. I have thought of atheism and have to admit it has it's place in the pantheon of thought in my life. But, I remember writing a paper back when I was getting into the school of social work. I had to tell my instructor why I thought I should be a social worker and why I was drawn to this discipline. Well, I couldn't say "I suck in math and I'm not real good at the hard sciences so this is a good way to get a degree and go to work" :-) So, I had to think about things that I really feel are true. One of those things is that humans need hope. You can take a dog and feed him/her. Pat them on the head and let them run in the yard and give them water. That dog is really happy and will always be loyal to you. But, a human is unique in some ways. We are restless. We can get our dream job and have sex with beautiful people. We can build houses and kiss our child. Our team can win the National Championship (Roll Tide.) :-) But, there is always an empty space and boredom will nudge it's way in. Also, we are always aware of death both ours and the ones we love. The one thing that a human has to have is hope. I saw an old video on youtube with Carl Jung. Jung said when he talked to his elderly patients who were dying they still had hope. The still had something they were looking forward to. It was as if they were still getting ready to go somewhere. Hope. So, no I'm not an atheist. That is the ultimate absence of hope.

I also was never that moved by the fire and brimstone fear of my youth. I always (and it has been my experience in life) felt that as long as I have "being" that I have hope. Even though I rise to the heavens you are with me. If I descend to the lowest pit..you are there.

Oblivion however, now that was and is scary. In the teeth of that Jung's patients still had hope. So do I. To me reincarnation answers some questions.  (cue my wife here with this statement: "That's convenient.") She didn't say it nasty because she's not a nasty person. She just said it matter of factly and I agree. Still, down deep I honestly think it is a legitimate possibility If we are spiritual beings then we have to exist in some way outside of space and time. I don't think the brain produces consciousness or that the sperm and egg produces spirit or soul. So, that's kind of where I am right now and tomorrow I might be somewhere else.

As always, thank you if you have read this far. If I'm the only one who ever reads it then that's OK because that meant that God is aware of it.

Peace.

To Infinity and Beyond.

Doing some reflection and talking to God this morning and just kind of opened up on my drive to work. I had my coffee cup and left the radio off and just started a conversation. I was a little self conscious since people driving up beside me might have thought I was talking to myself. In a way prayer and meditation can be like going into yourself but on the other hand I've done this for over 50 years now. I can honestly say that there are moments when the "personage" at the other end of the conversation lets me know that it really is a two way thing and not just my own ego. Anyway, I won't relate everything here. A wise woman once told me "Steve, there are some things you don't tell anybody but God." But, what I can relate are some thoughts I had. I once worked for Etowah County in Gadsden, Alabama as a tax appraiser. I traveled down every little road and major highway in the city/county of my birth. The thing about roads is they look infinite. I loved finding a shade dappled road in rural Etowah County, Alabama and heading down it and wondering where it would lead. After a while I found that all of em led somewhere and although the scenery could be wonderful it could also get kind of mundane after a little while. All roads here in this world have an end. I love to think that somewhere in the place where my spirit was born. Somehow that the roads here are just pale reflections of the eternal. I love to think there are roads to be walked that will lead on and on and never end and yet never get boring or mundane. I have often thought that this world is a reflection of the real world. I think that we will continue to discover and find God for eternity. That's the neat thing. Whoever God is he/she/it I hate to call God an it but sometime words fail. Anyway, I like to think that we will spend forever discovering aspects of God. I don't want to get into religion and I don't mean to offend anybody who has a strict biblical worldview. I'm just wondering and wandering here and that is what I was doing this morning. I was born in Gadsden, Alabama way back in 1957. I grew up in the best little community "Walnut Park" there was to be a kid. I had family in Attalla and Altoona and spent much of my childhood in Altoona. Matter of fact I moved to West End High School my sophomore year and graduated from there in the Altoona/Walnut Grove area. Anyway, once my senior class (I think we were seniors then) went to Gadsden State for some kind of field trip. That day a classmate was sitting in the sun on the grass. I didn't really know her since we often go to school with folks and don't really take the time or even get the opportunity to really know each other. We run in groups and might not be in the same groups and that's a shame. Anyway, for just that moment as the sun was shining through the tree's and hitting her hair and framing her I thought of eternity. I thought (even way back then) that this is a pale reflection of a greater reality and that we will one day be able to sit and enjoy a day that doesn't darken and a time that doesn't end.
 I love to go into my own thoughts at times. There is a difference in privacy and loneliness. I am comfortable with my own thoughts and often like to pull away to think. Still for much of my life I was lonely. I have been blessed with a wife and child and I'm not lonely these days. I don't want to go back to being lonely. But, I do crave and desire time to myself and conversation with my maker. Anyway, I started this blog to put down some thoughts and beliefs and see how they look when I objectively see them or even have others read them and say "wow, that's good." or "have you ever thought of seeing a mental health professional?" Either way it gives me something to think about. :-) I also love u.f.o's and ghost stories and I thought I might like to post something on that once in a while. I might even post on classic rock and Stephen King novels. I enjoy reading blogs and listening to podcast while I walk about ufo's and conspiracy theories. I am not a believer and not a hard headed debunker. I just have fun. :-) But, in line with the start of this blog I do get bored with the mundane. I don't think we are being visited from outer space. But, if we are I truly hope it's not a sterile Star Trek nuts and bolts bunch. I hope it's something exciting and even spiritually advanced beyond our Newtonian 18 century Physics. Anyway, I was thinking and thought I would put it down in a blog post. I think a lot about eternity these days. Being 50 plus will do that to you if you have any belief or thought at all beyond this world. I think of my friends that I fell out of touch with over the years. I think of my grandparents and other family who have gone before me. I had a nice dream about a friend right after she passed last year. She was young and even a little "sassy" for want of a better word. She seemed happy and it was great to see her that way. Only a dream? I don't know. Maybe this is the dream. Anyway, I thank you if you have stayed with this all the way through. I will leave with these words by Helen Keller that just seem to fit here.

Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I'll be able to see....Helen Keller.
To Grandmaw and Grandaddy. To Deborah, I'll see you and raise you a smile and to Melvin and the others that are in that other room.

The Incarnation.

I've thought a lot lately about the incarnation. The word become flesh. My faith and my dogma were separated a good little while ago. My dogma got ran over by life and experience and even common sense. Raised in the bible belt in Northeast Alabama in both the "city" Gadsden and the "country" Altoona. Church was a place to be both scared to death and to feel like I belonged to something bigger and greater than the world I grew up in and just couldn't feel quite at home in. Scarier like the time my grandmother took me and my sister and a fire and brimstone preacher had an alter call. "Somebody here tonight has had their last chance, they have heard their last gospel." Man, folks (in my memory from childhood, so I'm sure it's different from the memory.) But folks jumping toward the alter and the tears and the forgive me Jesus flying. My little self asking my grandmother what it meant and did the preacher mean somebody was gonna die tonight? Fiddling with the radio to try and find a radio preacher (yes, back in the early 60's you could find one in the bible belt) so I could be sure it wasn't me that had heard their "last gospel." On the other hand the comfort of going out to my back yard at a different time and after another sermon in a different church. Praying to God and hearing in my mind the words of hope and strength that would last me a whole lifetime. I could "hear" in my mind the Holy Spirit saying "Relax, I know you from the inside out and not the outside in." "I know your heart and I"m the one that answers for you." I want go into detail but believe me it saved my young sanity. The night I was baptized and had a cold and a stuffy head and when I came up my head cleared and I was breathing better. Coincidence? Selective memory? I don't know , but I do know it felt like the baptism took. Later in life going  through a period of questioning everything and feeling like most "smart" people couldn't possibly be Christians. The guilt and the closed minded bigotry and the dogma's of the fundamentalist
Now, I'm older and I have my own life experience and my own ideas about God and the universe. I have had a good dose of evolution and the facts of brain chemistry and I don't believe in fairy tails and bodies being reconstructed from dust and atoms reforming in the ground. However, I also don't believe that all life is an accident and that the evil of Hitler is no more than the life of a cockroach. I don't think the love of a mother for a child is no more than the life of a fruit fly. Dead is dead, no, I don't buy that. I've seen enough to believe that life and death have purpose. But, I'm also honest enough to tell you that "The bible says it and I believe it" isn't enough for me. Now, that will make some folks mad and I understand that. But, unless you were raised "in the church" then you have no idea how hard it has been to be honest enough with myself and my God to admit my doubts out loud or to even think them. But, this has become too introspective and much to self serving. So, let me get to the point of what I think of when I think about the incarnation.

 It occurred to me at some point that love isn't always about "rescuing" or "saving" people. Sometime it's about dying with them. Real love isn't rushing into the burning building and pulling somebody out and giving them mouth to mouth resuscitation. That's great and it's heroic but it's not always love. No, real love is when you rush into the burning building and realize that you can't get the "victim" out. So, instead of rushing back out you set down with them. You stay in the burning building next to them and accept the same fate. That's love and that's what the incarnation is to me. It's not Jesus with an "S" on his t-shirt. It's God made flesh and setting down beside me and loving me enough to die with me. Loving me enough not to go running out of the building and not dragging me out. But, to stay there and suffer and be willing to suffer the same fate. That's love.
Merry Christmas!

Election 2012

I can't help but notice a depression among some the past few days. I wanted to let an old conservative friend who I have certainly shared some great conversations with, share a little of the thoughts of a moderate left (formerly conservative) liberal and a "progressive" (formerly conservative) Christian. But, I decided instead of a letter I would just write a blog about it. This is what I would have said if I had sent him the letter:  I know you think at this time that the nation has deteriorated into a cess pool of godless socialism. I understand that the world you grew up in doesn't look much like the world you see now. I know the feeling well. The world as I had alway's known it shifted under my feet in increments until some of the bedrock became floating patches of land that I had to jump on and quickly jump to another to reach solid ground again. It's still wet and muddy for me but I keep going. I hear a whole lot about how the republicans are friends of the military. However, I still remember working on a military base during the Bush years. Fort Carson Colorado Child Development Center. I still remember being told that the kids in the age group I was head of couldn't get anymore food for lunch than what they were already offered. One serving per child. I still remember having to tell the classroom staff that toilet paper was at a premium. I still remember Donald Rumsfield asking "What am I doing running grocery stores?" Well sir, you had shipped the momma's and daddy's off to war and the families still had to eat. I still remember the hollow eyed children coming into the center after spending one last night with mom or dad before they shipped out. I still remember the sobs and the anxious looks at the t.v. screens as a young wife or even young husband said "Hey, that's our unit." when a report of war would come in. I still remember that most of that military was black and came from poor cities in the rust belt and the rural south. I still remember that many were white and came from the south and were trying to save enough to go to school or make it in the world once they got out of the military. I still remember the billions and billions a day being spent on two wars. Fact is that Obama isn't the problem. The policies of war and big coorporations who profit off oil and war are the problems or at least a big part of it. Still, Obama could end it and he really should. I'm not here to beautify Obama for sainthood. But, many of those patriotic Americans that you guys love to talk about would and did vote for Obama. The world (to borrow from my favorite author, Stephen  King in the Dark Tower) has moved on. The jobs that some conservatives talk about that you can pull yourself up by your own bootstraps? Those went to China a long time ago. The fact is that America looks a lot different than it did in 1950 or 1967 0r 1975. The fact is that we are not a evangelical Chrisitan nation and truly we were not founded by evangelical Christians. However, we were founded by people that had faith and fortitude. But, they were also slave owners and felt that black folks were only partly human as far as voting rights and women were somewhere below that. Did the democrats take God out of schools? Well, if they did then he isn't God with a big "G" but is god with a little "g." It's funny how conservatives are so sure that the government should stay out of things like taxing people and regulating business. But, should dive head first into marriage and abortion and prayer in schools. It's amazing that government shouldn't make sure that insurance companies stop adding to run away inflation and shouldn't make sure that health care is a basic human right and need. But, government should by all means be allowed to send son's and daughters off to war. What happens when there really are more black people and Hispanic people than there are white folks. What happens when the majority of white folks are just as poor as the black folks? There are many now, but what about when there are just as many or more? The republicans honestly need to wake up and stop sending dinosaurs into battle. Abortion? I hate abortion. I think if you are going to get pregnant then you should be willing to consider the responsibilty of what and who you are. On the other hand if men had babies then abortion wouldn't even be an issue and we all know it. It would be a stone cold fact. But, my feelings on abortion are from my worldview and everybody doesn't share my worldview. So, a young woman has to decide for herself if she is going to nurture that life or not. The truth is that the Holy Ghost didn't come down from a throne on high and plant that seed in that woman. It's a flesh and blood reality and it has to be dealt with by flesh and blood people. Pro choice people should stop telling women that abortion is some kind of holy female right of passage. You are killing off a part of yourself that nobody else will ever be able to replace in your life. Anti abortion people should stop saying life is sacred while it's in the womb but once it gets here unless it's one of "us" then it isn't worth our effort or assistance. Finally, I did indeed vote for Obama. Not because he is of mixed race and I could get a tingle up my leg for voting for a "black" guy. I voted for Obama because I'm not rich. I voted for Obama because if something did happen to my job I might need to go to the doctor before I get another job with insurance coverage. I voted for Obama because I have seen first hand as social worker the treatment of poor folks on Medicaid when they go to the doctor. It ain't pretty. I didn't vote for Romney because he flip flopped on health coverage and he seemed to be willing to be a progressive if that's what New England needed. But, if the south and the mid west needed an evangelical conservative well, he was the man. I'm not sure of Obama. I'm not sure he can find his butt with both hands. But, at least he admits he has a butt and doesn't flip flop all over the place. So, ya pay's yer money and ya takes your chances.  I am sure that republican or democrat we do have some issues and we are divided. We do need to make sure there is a path to working and paying taxes if you are here illegally. We also have to be aware that if you keep straining the social services system it will break sooner or later. But, throwing folks back across the border over and over and over again is simply not working. I am not an atheist. I don't think all life is a accident with no more meaning than a roach bug at the end of it. So, I do believe in taking care of each other. No, not all are going to be worth it. No, we shouldn't be housing people to set on their butt and drink and watch soap operas all day. But, we should take care of the elderly and the disabled. We should take care of the children and the unemployed and the folks who are trying to make a better life. Is there no middle ground? I look in the mirror and I'm so unsure of myself. I'm so unsure that "I" have the answers to life the universe and everything. Maybe some of you are not. Maybe you truly are the chosen few. But, is there no humility left? Is there no sense of "reasoning together" left? Anyway, as always. If you have read all of this then I thank you for taking the time and giving me the honor of your consideration for my thoughts. Agree or disagree, thank you for reading my latest rant.

Money!

  The song from Pink Floyd's "The Dark Side of the Moon" keeps running through my head. I saw a news story about an N.B.A. player getting 80,000,000 to sign with a team. $80 million dollars! Wow, how many clothes and how much food would that buy? How many doctor's appointments would that pay for? How many dental visits and other needs would that supply? Now, I'm a sports fanatic. I was raised on Alabama football. I went to my first Atlanta Braves baseball game at 11 or 12 years old. I watched and cheered as Alabama made it's first trip to the NIT in basketball. This was way back in the early seventies when going to the NIT meant something. So, I do have an appreciation for sports and the entertainment that it provides in this nation. But, 80 million dollars. Wow, the other day I had to call some local church and other agencies to try and get a referral for a winter coat for a child. I watched as an older African American woman lived in a bad part of public housing and was afraid to go outside. I saw Jessie Jackson say he would like to cut Obama's nuts off and Al Sharpton primp for the t.v. cameras as he led another "cause" for the downtrodden. I throw up a little in my mouth when I hear the likes of Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter talk as if health care is a privilege instead of basic human need and right. Bible thumpers who don't want to let a woman choose what to do with her own body and want to pass government law or amendent to tell her what is legal. Yet, when I say what about feeding and clothing  and health care? The answer is "That's not the governments place and they shouldn't interfere." Let the church take care of it. Ya know what? There are some great church groups that do indeed try and take care of the poor. But, they run out of money and funds. They depend some on federal assistance in order to help the poor. We have a really weird society. One group loves ya while you are in the womb and protects the hell out of you. But, once you get out of the womb they say "let em eat cake." The other group treats you like you are no more than a "procedure" while you are in the womb. But, once you get out "IF" you qualify they will put you on a check and defend your right to laze around the rest of your life. Where is the balance? Where is the common sense? We honestly have enough resources right now in this nation to feed the poor and clothe the hungry and treat the sick. We also have enough laws to address discrimination and bring justice. But, it looks better politically to say one group is more precious than another. It's a hate crime to kill one and a simple ole "mistake" in judgement to kill another. I think all crime is a hate crime. Especially crimes of violence. We honestly should provide a way to let workers come across the border and get legal. We should also put illegal gang members and those who commit crimes under the damn jail. One side thinks that simply throwing human beings out will cure the problem. The other side doesn't seem to understand that you can't keep throwing more and more stress on the social resources without exhausting them. One problem is the two party system in this nation. I think we might do better with a parliament. Anyway, here's the trick to political power...or at least one of em. Pit one group against the other. Call one poor and downtrodden the other evil and an exploiter . That way you can breed resentment among the middle and lower classes. You can talk about the evils of abortion while you bomb the hell out of children in third world nations. You can ride around in a limo and talk about the evil "white" men who are destroying a culture. All the while branding anybody who thinks the culture is destroying itself a racist for bringing the subject up. You can talk about trickle down theory while the middle class trickles down to nothing. You can talk about restitution for past wrongs while letting people die in poverty. What's the answer? I don't know. But, I do know what the answer isn't. It's not blindly supporting a political party as if it were no more than a sports team. It's not demonizing any one group as if they are the sole problem of the world. It's not removing hope and faith in God from all aspects of public life. It's not imposing a belief in any one religion on people who have no faith or religion. These are all silly little ploys to keep peoples eyes off of the men/women behind the curtain. Anyway, rant of the day....Thank you for reading and I respect the right of all people to think for themselves. It took me a long time to be able to express my opinion without worrying about what the "church" thought or what the science teacher at school thought or what somebody else thought.

What you would not have done to you...Don't do to anybody else...The Buddha

I'm not a religious man..but if you're up there, save me Superman... Homer Simpson