Doing some reflection and talking to God this morning and just kind of opened up on my drive to work. I had my coffee cup and left the radio off and just started a conversation. I was a little self conscious since people driving up beside me might have thought I was talking to myself. In a way prayer and meditation can be like going into yourself but on the other hand I've done this for over 50 years now. I can honestly say that there are moments when the "personage" at the other end of the conversation lets me know that it really is a two way thing and not just my own ego. Anyway, I won't relate everything here. A wise woman once told me "Steve, there are some things you don't tell anybody but God." But, what I can relate are some thoughts I had. I once worked for Etowah County in Gadsden, Alabama as a tax appraiser. I traveled down every little road and major highway in the city/county of my birth. The thing about roads is they look infinite. I loved finding a shade dappled road in rural Etowah County, Alabama and heading down it and wondering where it would lead. After a while I found that all of em led somewhere and although the scenery could be wonderful it could also get kind of mundane after a little while. All roads here in this world have an end. I love to think that somewhere in the place where my spirit was born. Somehow that the roads here are just pale reflections of the eternal. I love to think there are roads to be walked that will lead on and on and never end and yet never get boring or mundane. I have often thought that this world is a reflection of the real world. I think that we will continue to discover and find God for eternity. That's the neat thing. Whoever God is he/she/it I hate to call God an it but sometime words fail. Anyway, I like to think that we will spend forever discovering aspects of God. I don't want to get into religion and I don't mean to offend anybody who has a strict biblical worldview. I'm just wondering and wandering here and that is what I was doing this morning. I was born in Gadsden, Alabama way back in 1957. I grew up in the best little community "Walnut Park" there was to be a kid. I had family in Attalla and Altoona and spent much of my childhood in Altoona. Matter of fact I moved to West End High School my sophomore year and graduated from there in the Altoona/Walnut Grove area. Anyway, once my senior class (I think we were seniors then) went to Gadsden State for some kind of field trip. That day a classmate was sitting in the sun on the grass. I didn't really know her since we often go to school with folks and don't really take the time or even get the opportunity to really know each other. We run in groups and might not be in the same groups and that's a shame. Anyway, for just that moment as the sun was shining through the tree's and hitting her hair and framing her I thought of eternity. I thought (even way back then) that this is a pale reflection of a greater reality and that we will one day be able to sit and enjoy a day that doesn't darken and a time that doesn't end.
I love to go into my own thoughts at times. There is a difference in privacy and loneliness. I am comfortable with my own thoughts and often like to pull away to think. Still for much of my life I was lonely. I have been blessed with a wife and child and I'm not lonely these days. I don't want to go back to being lonely. But, I do crave and desire time to myself and conversation with my maker. Anyway, I started this blog to put down some thoughts and beliefs and see how they look when I objectively see them or even have others read them and say "wow, that's good." or "have you ever thought of seeing a mental health professional?" Either way it gives me something to think about. :-) I also love u.f.o's and ghost stories and I thought I might like to post something on that once in a while. I might even post on classic rock and Stephen King novels. I enjoy reading blogs and listening to podcast while I walk about ufo's and conspiracy theories. I am not a believer and not a hard headed debunker. I just have fun. :-) But, in line with the start of this blog I do get bored with the mundane. I don't think we are being visited from outer space. But, if we are I truly hope it's not a sterile Star Trek nuts and bolts bunch. I hope it's something exciting and even spiritually advanced beyond our Newtonian 18 century Physics. Anyway, I was thinking and thought I would put it down in a blog post. I think a lot about eternity these days. Being 50 plus will do that to you if you have any belief or thought at all beyond this world. I think of my friends that I fell out of touch with over the years. I think of my grandparents and other family who have gone before me. I had a nice dream about a friend right after she passed last year. She was young and even a little "sassy" for want of a better word. She seemed happy and it was great to see her that way. Only a dream? I don't know. Maybe this is the dream. Anyway, I thank you if you have stayed with this all the way through. I will leave with these words by Helen Keller that just seem to fit here.
Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I'll be able to see....Helen Keller.
To Grandmaw and Grandaddy. To Deborah, I'll see you and raise you a smile and to Melvin and the others that are in that other room.
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