I was doing a Christian meditation. I often will do a mediation that has nothing to do with any religion but every once in awhile I like to go back to my own traditions and heritage. At the end of the meditation of silence the narrator came back on and said to recite the Nicean Creed. I didn't and knew I couldn't because I don't beleive that God is going to burn people up and cast people away from him based on whether they recite the sinners prayer. I also don't believe a physical body will be knit back together and DNA and bones rejoined in a physcial ressurection. I also can't say that I believe virgins have children. So, I had to remain respectfully quiet through the creed and then end the meditation.

But, then I came across a post on facebook from a near death survivor. He linked to a young woman singing "It is Well."  Here is the link if you are curious. They do an awesome job. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNqo4Un2uZI 

It took me back to my day's of worship at the Gadsden Vinyard Church from the late 80's and early 90's. I realized that although I may not still share the dogma I still have my faith. I miss Communion and I miss worship. Not because I think that God is a meglo mainiac sitting on a throne encouraging people to heap praise and bow and scrape for his favor. But, because I miss the feeling of being in the midst of something bigger than myself and tapping into the power and uncondional love of that something/someone.

It is in the process of being worshipped that God communicates His presence to men. ...C.S. Lewis

So, when we really find a source of worship it's the way God communicates his presence to us. Which lifts us up. Back when I was a practicing Christian it was this back and forth that I loved so much in the worship of God. I was getting so much attention from God through worship. So, it wasn't like I was heaping praise on a meglo maniac. I was reieing something that would carry me through the whole week. That's what I miss. Not the "I am but a worm" type sacntimounisous b.s. of the fundamentist. But, the feeling that I am known to the source of all creation.

I don't believe much in religion anymore. I also don't beleive the world is meaningless and I'm not into the cold sterile athiethism that would reduce all the people and actually all the creatures that have come before into nothing. but a brain fart.