It's me again God.

Hi God! Yeah, it's me again. Ya know that little secret stuff I fret over so much? Yeah, I know you are never surprised with me. Still, I was  raised "in the church" as we say in the south. So, I carry around a lot of guilt whenever I check in with you. Liberal Christian? Well, yeah I do say that and I mean it. But, when I approach you I still kind of get the big daddy in the sky who judges me feeling. Just can't quite let that go even if I don't really believe all the dogma of my raising. Weird huh? No? Well I'm glad you understand because I don't. Oh yeah, the reason I'm here today? That would be you right? ;-) Well you did give me this sense of humor ya know. Theology? No, not today. I'm not real sure I'm up to it right now. I don't know the ultimate purpose of the universe. I think right now I'll just be.

You know this body has some tingles and pains and limitations I didn't even know about back in the day. Well, I sure couldn't do some of  the party stuff I did then. I do thank you that I didn't do any long term damage. I sure could have. Anyway, now where was I? Oh yeah, now I remember.

I do understand that people are afraid. I know that scared people can be heartless and even cruel. I understand that it doesn't always come from their "best selves." But, I am so frustrated at how good decent people speak so easily of turning children away or shooting people.

Yeah, I actually have heard the "put up a fence and shoot em as they cross over line." WWJD? Never that? Well, you don't have to tell me.

The Middle East thing? Yeah, they all are of the same part of the planet. Yeah, I know it sickens you when they act like it's a sporting event instead of a real world life and death struggle with real flesh and blood and real limbs being blown apart. Anyway, what about here?

Well, you remember Reagan? Oh, yeah I bet he and JFK are having a grand ole debate over who's the better Irishman. Ya know my family name has a bit of the old country in it's heritage. Point? Oh yeah, the point.

Well, ya see back in the Reagan years the U.S. did some stuff that Uncle Ronnie thought was OK at the time. Now, we are getting some refugees and the people who loved Uncle Ronnie don't love the refugees. Children? Millstones and better not to have been born than to harm one of these? I don't think that's for this situation. How do I know? Well, that's what the GOP "God's own party" What? Oh, I'm sorry. No, I will never say something that stupid again.

Well, anyway I did feel like I needed to check in. Sometime, I just need to rest. Sometime I just need to look the devil in the eye and not be afraid. So, I see heartless and ignorant statements in your name. I see death and misery and hunger and abuse. Why doesn't it make me turn away from you?

Because I also see you in every grain of sand and every drop; of spilled blood. I see you in the waiting rooms and the death and hunger in this world. I see you in my own doubts and I know that you are the place and being of my rest.

I don't know what else I would like to say right now. I just thought I'd talk a little and hang out with you for a minute. I'm looking at the road I've traveled. It's shorter in front than it was when I was younger. No? That hill up there, isn't that the home stretch beyond it? Trust? I have thought that. Maybe we are on an eternal journey and that hill will reveal the road isn't about to end after all.

Remember back in Walnut Park when I was a kid? Yeah, my ole banana seat bike. Man, I wish I could see it again. :-) I would "pull" the hill on Stonewall Avenue heading up to Chester Street. I would fly back down Stonewall later that day. Anyway, I'm pulling this hill and I wanted to make sure I still have you in case I need a push.

Always? Thank you. Do you mind if I kind of walk a little closer for a minute. Just until I'm ready to get back on my bike and pull this hill. Yeah, it feels good. You too? Wow!