Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Journey

"Oh bless thee continuous stutter
Of the word being made into flesh..."

- Leonard Cohen
 
 I think a lot these days about the flesh and the spirit. I look at life gone by like it all happened yesterday. I remember when I was young. I thought when I got old, there would be this long, long corridor of memory. I would sit in my chair and think wow, how long ago and far away it all is. But, it doesn't work that way at all. Not at all. Instead, my childhood and my teenage years and my young adult hood and the present "crows feet" around my eyes all happened just yesterday. 
 
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;...William Butler Yeats.

I still look at life and feel wonder and excitement. I look at it more as one eternal moment than a series of separate moments.  I don't know for sure what comes after this part of the journey or what came before. I'm not one of those who find any comfort in oblivion.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.. Dylan Thomas
I also am not so sure that the light will die.As a matter of fact I don't think it does.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting; The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star, Hath had elsewhere its setting And cometh from afar; Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come From God, who is our home: -William Wordsworth
I knew a girl back in the day. She was not my "true love." But, she was a friend and a soul mate along the journey. She was the true love of a friend of mine though. I had a hard time thinking of her passing. But, we get older and the "Emperor of all Maladies" You know the C word tends to take the body out before it seems the spirit is ready to go. There are other things and circumstances and we don't all get that rocker on the front porch to look back at life from "old age" whatever that is.
I saw her not long after she left this mortal coil. Now don't call the men in white coats just yet. I don't mean I saw her at WalMart.
But, I had a dream and she was smiling. There was a glint of mischievousness in her eyes. She looked young and was moving around with the energy of youth. Just a dream? I don't know but I'll take it and raise a hope that it was more than "just" anything.
I was raised to believe in God and although I call myself a Christian Agnostic on my good days.  I still believe we are more than brain farts.
For all the years that I've traveled some signs still take me home. There's a cross that one of the church groups put up along my route to work. It's a simple looking cross and there is a purple swatch of fabric draped across it. I've had a long year and a really long "October." But, I look for that cross while I go to work. I see that simple sign of my faith. The faith that I don't quite fit into these days. I see that purple cloth and I hear in my head "It is finished." I think about that when I'm down or troubled. Somehow, I know that even any present trouble or anxiety is already finished. The outcome isn't in doubt. Not really.

"And then I saw Him in the crowd
A lot of people had gathered round Him
The beggars shouted the lepers called Him".... Queen
I developed an interest in reincarnation during my journey through life. It started for real sometime in the eighties if memory serves. It didn't develop into a dogma or a religion "Thank God" but it does have a certain resonance with my life experience and my journey. Who knows? I don't, but I suspect.

A dream as the thunder wakes her
And her highwayman disappears
On a life already lived before
In eyes welled with tears ...Stevie Nicks
So, here I am. Not old enough to be elderly and to old to be young. I'm ready for the next part of the eternal moment. After all..

." I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring? "..Tom Hanks in Cast A Way.
  I really do think life is an adventure. I also think there are signs along the way that touch us and remind us of something we've forgotten. Some part of our nature.

A gathering of angels appeared above my head,
They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said,
They said come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads,..Styx
One day it will all come together.

Oh Wow!....Reportedly Steve Jobs last words "on earth"

I will make a pillar in the house of my God, and he will go out no more...Revelation 3:12

It's good to have hope. It's what gets me up in the morning and lets me sleep in the night time. 

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key... Eagles
Peace!

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