Thursday, August 29, 2013

Stairs of Life.: Science and the Fuzzy Thinker.

Stairs of Life.: Science and the Fuzzy Thinker.:   I must be a fuzzy thinker. I get bored easily with the "Laws" of physics or the dogma of the bible. I like to think that reality...

Science and the Fuzzy Thinker.

  I must be a fuzzy thinker. I get bored easily with the "Laws" of physics or the dogma of the bible. I like to think that reality is something more glorious and bizarre than we can ever imagine. :-)

  I started a blog. I was going to write about ufo's and the paranormal. Movies and politics. Books and sports. All the cool stuff including music and pop culture. But, somehow my 50 plus year old self just keeps coming back to themes of life and death and reason and that kind of stuff. So, here goes another blog of "Steve's midnight thoughts" :-)

  I think too much. I know it sounds self serving. But, on the other hand I have often envied the folks who just say a certain authority (bible, science, guru, expert) says it and I believe it. After all I am skeptical about my own skepticism. I have always read and I still don't know how a human forms a world view if he/she never reads. However, I also have seen people who read an article or a book (heaping teachers to their own ears) and never question the agenda or look at the world view or follow the money of the author or publisher.

So today I was reading a blog and a young looking author (Lord, when you pass fifty everybody 35 and under suddenly looks like a teenager to you) quoted a talk by Bertrand Russell. Now, I have a lot of respect for the intellect of Mr. Russell. For those who haven't heard of him give a google. :-) He was an atheist but a thinking person and not the angry snarky Richard Dawkins type. At least I don't think he was. As a matter of fact he came up with one of my all-time favorite sayings or quotes:

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”

I love that quote because there is so much truth in it. But, anyway the young author of the blog I was reading was quite taken with Mr. Russell and his writing on "Why I am not a Christian." The author of the blog seemed to want to hit the idea of god in the name of 'Science." Sigh, here we go again. So much so that he asked a one word question: Is he right? Then answered it with one word: "Yes." But in the words of Lee Corso (he of ESPN College football) before he debased himself with that nasty Notre Dame suit last year before the national title game (but I digress) :-) Anyway, as Mr. Corso used to say "Not so fast, my friend." :-)

Now, I could write my own article on why I'm no longer a conservative Christian. I could start with the idea of an angry old man in the sky and go straight through gay marriage ( I think everybody has the right to marry who they want to marry, consenting adults that is)  and feeding the hungry and having compassion on the sick and the poor. But, that's not why I am writing this blog. (as my conservative friends, IF they read this, grind their teeth at my liberal foolishness.) :-)

No, I am writing on "Why I'm still" (though some would argue the point) a Christian. Or at least why I still believe in "God." Being a reader I also had many lessons in my youth. Just because you put it between a cover and bind it, doesn't make it the "gospel truth." No pun intended. It took me a little while to find my feet and my voice. I finally realized that just as a preacher couldn't sentence me to hellfire with his words. Well, I also found that an atheistic "intellectual" also couldn't sentence me to oblivion just because they wrote bleak, stark, so called "rational," prose. But, why in an age of science do I still believe in a personal creative loving presence? Well, for one thing I look at what is called "Science."

Science is a wonderful "tool." I am able to  drive a car because of the obvious"mechanical, engineering" science. Also, because of medical,vision science I am able to see to drive. Now, for those of you with lifelong strong eyesight that might not mean much. But, I am one of those folks that (even in my youth) couldn't see or tell a truck from a tree or a house or a car coming down the road. :-) So, I am very thankful that I can put a small frame on my nose and see where I'm, and also where you're going. I also am benefited by blood pressure medicine and cholesterol medication and I even will use the occasional Melatonin (it's natural and over the pharmacy counter) to help me get sleepy. My child was born with Asthma so I am very thankful for medical science.

However, with all that said above, there is still one question. Where is this entity that so many (mostly young, but many older) atheist use that goes by the name of "Science" that has slain the old man in the sky? Seems to me that I see a lot of human ability to learn and create and even help others. Now, you can say "where's god in that?" I would say "Look in the mirror." := )

Words, words, words. Everybody has em. But, that's all I have to take your heart away. :-) But seriously, as I get older everything seems to be defined by one old rock song or the other from my youth. But, let me say this. I've known folks or at least read about folks. People who used to be Christian. The more fundi the former Christian the more fundi the new atheist. I've thought about it myself. What do I truly believe in? Who cares? :-) Well, just in case some where some how some intrepid archeologist is digging through the rubble of the late 20th or early 21st Century and wonders about how much we worshiped celebrity and money and gave our minds away to politics, religion and even scientific dogma (because I don't think we have even approached the tip of the vast knowledge that we can research with the different sciences.) I would like to at least add my .2 cents worth.

I think about my life long inner dialog. I have prayed and talked with God in my own way since I was able to comprehend the concept of reason and being. To be honest if I were to become an atheist at this point in my life. Well, I'd have to conclude that I was bat-shit crazy for 56 years. I mean, I'm not a big church goer. I don't think the source of all there is, cares much what kind of fabric you wear What kind of food you eat (although I think there is concern that some have food and some don''t have enough) But, this inner dialog I've had has kept me through so much insanity.

It's this inner dialog that allows me to go to a funeral and not totally lose it because I didn't say all the things I should have said or said something I should not have said to a loved one. It's this inner dialog that allows a young mother to bury a child and yet have hope that through the grief and through the pain, there will yet be a reunion. It's this inner dialog that we have that allows us when the bump isn't a just a mole or the cough isn't just a cold to cry and cuss and sweat and scream and yet have hope. So, no I'm not an atheist. Because to be honest? The glorious evolution of the species doesn't mean squat to me if my own evolution ends up being dead as a doornail (as we say in the south) :-) So, no I"m not an atheist.

Finally, I hear people say "If there is a god, then how could he let......" Fill in the blank with some of the worse things you can think of. But, my answer is if there isn't a reason or purpose or spirit then how can you not go insane at the rape,murder,molestation,disease,injustice of the world. I'm sorry but at those times the great entity called "Science" is just a piss poor god. So, again am I anti intellectual? Heaven forbid. Do I believe in evolution? Yes! Do I frickin love science? I love computers and tv's and pods and pads and I love my glasses and my clothing. I take my medication and I go to the doctor. So, there's a very soft place in my heart for science as the collective tool of the human mind.

But, late at night. When I have to prop my head up because my 50 plus year old body doesn't breathe as well on my back as it did in my youth. When my heart races or I notice a new "mole" on my head or back. When I really, really hope that I have a little indigestion or heart burn because, the other possibility is that I need a doctor or the emergency room. Well, at those times I'm really glad that I have my "inner dialog" and my hope. Just in case. Because there is a country where even science and toys can't follow. :-)

Also, I miss my Grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins and friends and all the relationships that worked and didn't work and even have hope for some that didn't happen. I'm with Helen Keller on this one: Death is simply going from one room into another. But, it's different for that other room I'll be able to see.
Now, I am not blind (physically anyway) but I do think that this world is a pale reflection of the reality of my home.

So, why did I write this blog? I just like to put things down and see how they look. I like to read back over it and see if my worldview (while not perfect or complete) can at least pass the "crazy as a loon" test. :-) So, far I don't think I'm nuts. I'm not sure I'm right. (there goes my natural skepticism again) but at least I know why I believe what I believe and lean where I lean.