Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Morning thoughts.

  Yesterday I was really feeling as if there was a load that I was carrying around. It's a fine line between intuition and superstition at times. I've always been struck by times when I just "knew" or "know" something and yet you have to be careful that you don't project too much onto things. Sometimes a duck really is just a duck. Anyway, for some reason today that feeling just lifted. Not into a state of euphoria, just lifted as if a weight was gone. Anyway, on the trip to work I started to think about the things I actually believe. I remember seeing an old video on youtube with Carl Jung. The great psychiatrist said in answer to what he believed. "To believe is to not know." I have been blessed/cursed all of my life with a mind that wanted to "know." So, the bible says it I believe it just never worked for me. Science has "proven" also just never worked for me. So, what I "believe" has always been something that I didn't "know." I do have some things that I "know." They are not things that I can give you a rock hard stat in order to prove. They are not things that an appeal to an ancient writing has given me. They are things I have perceived and thought about and yes prayed about all during my life. I "know" that I am a part of the consciousness of being. I know that life has a purpose and that how we treat other people is the most telling and important bench mark of who we are and our closeness to the "One with who we all have to do." I don't think that god is an old man in the sky that reacts to our life with anger or anxiety. That might be Superman with the emphasis on "man" but not God. I also don't think that all life and meaning is simply a happy/sad little accident on a journey to oblivion. I can only sadly imagine such a dead soul as to crave or defend "nothingness." On the other hand I do understand that we are on a journey and this is not the final destination. There is an old Buddhist koan: "What was your face before you were born." I can remember when my son was still in the womb. I actually felt his presence during my walking and waking hours. I was walking down a street in Fort Carson, Colorado and thinking of him. Now, we had already decided to name him "Fox" after our favorite show the X Files. I look up and there is a Fox on the other side of the street walking down the sidewalk. Wow. Now in Colorado there are of course foxes and other wildlife and I'm not acting as if that was an impossible thing to have happen. But, still "Wow" So, I do think there are more things in heaven and earth. But, I only "know" a few of them.

Friday, September 7, 2012


I was on a page and about to share a link concerning what kind of reader are you on facebook. But, I got carried away and decided that some of my thoughts belonged on a blog post instead of a facebook link. I have read since I was young and I can't imagine a really developed worldview if you don't read. I know it sounds kind of snobbish but honestly? If you go to a church or you vote for a political party or you join an organization then, you owe it to yourself to educate yourself. That's what reading does and has done for me. Now, I don't believe everything I read. I wouldn't read Pat Robertson to try and understand the benefits of Buddhism. I wouldn't read Richard Dawkins to learn about the reality of the comfort and hope of prayer. Always, be aware of the motive of whoever you read and understand that everybody (as a certain ancient text says) Heaps Teachers to their own Ears. Anyway, here is the short facebook blurb that turned into a blog:

 I can't imagine anybody even having a world view that doesn't read. It's gotten me into trouble over the years. I question everything and read about the things I'm interested in. I don't read as much as I once did but the following folks have certainly kept me enlightened and entertained since my youth: Get ready for a "nerd" werd blast.
Stephen King, C.S. Lewis, James Thurber, Barrie Wood, Alan Ryan, Charles Grant, M Scott Peck, Anne Rice, Dean Koontz, Robert Mccammon, Ray Bradbury, Shirley Jackson, Dan Jenkins, Shirley Mcclain, Whitley Strieber, Ruth Montgomery, Manly Wade Wellman. I've read books as a child about Bear Bryant, Wilt Chamberlain, Bart Starr, Jim Thorpe. I've read ghost stories ordered from my Weekly Reader from Walnut Park Elementary in Gadsden, Al. Graduated to Stephen King in my later teens and early twenties. I've read inspiration by C.S. Lewis and been taken on a mystical ride by Shirley MCclain. I've found Semi Tough to be the funniest sports novel (Not the turkey of a movie) that has been written. I've been inspired by M. Scott Peck. Shirley Jackson's the Haunting (book and original 1963ish movie are both great) I read Salem's Lot when I lived with my grandparents in Altoona, Al and was amazed at how much a small fictional town in Maine reminded me of a small actual town in rural Alabama. I was back in Gadsden when I read "IT" and was amazed at how a fictional town in Maine reminded me of a similar sized actual town in Northeast, Alabama. Maybe I just relate to Stephen King stories. :-) Anyway, I don't read as much as I once did. I also love movies. I'm easy when it comes to movies. Just give me a laugh or a startled yelp or eye candy special effects and I'm good. But, with books it's a little more personal. I live a book and I devote my inner life to it. So, it has to grab me and I have to think about it during the day. Otherwise it just isn't worth it. If I don't find myself thinking about the characters or the point of a book at sometime during my day then I know it isn't working for me. I love books but I have sinned lately. I have been downloading them to my Kindle Fire instead of the old tried and true method. There is nothing like hoisting a good thick book and diving into it. But, as my eyes age and my attention span seems a little shorter (damn you internet.) :-) I find myself preferring the comfort and the convenience of an e reader. It allows me to turn off the lights for one thing so I'm less distracted. But, I still love books and going to a library or a book store. I've just downloaded the newest Robert Mccammon book in the Mathew Corbett series. But, I'm still reading (again) through the Dark Tower saga by my favorite author. :-) Plus I gotta check my facebook and it's football season again. But, I'm sure I'll be getting back to my first love (books) before you know it.