Of cabbages and kings.

   I have taken a break from politics and religion on facebook. I still put some sayings from some of my spiritual journey and I still from time to time make a poltical statement. Especially on news groups such as al.com or 3340.com. I feel those are kind of community boards and free for all political speech. But, I often see things on  friends pages and start to type and then back off. Or better yet just keep on scrolling. The good part of just posting jokes and far side memes is that you don't insult people or try to manipulate or express you deepest thoughts. 

The bad part of that is you don't express your deepest thoughts or engage in any kind of meaningful dialog. Still, I have certain facebook groups I interact with and some of them do engage with religion or politics and I can express my spiritual questions. A couple even allow for health and sexual questions so there is a nitch that I can interact with without making my facebook page a running argument.

Politics: First let me say this and I don't think I've ever been as bi partisan as I'm about to be here. I will use my home state of Alabama as a basis for my financial statement so if you live in Europe or Southern California or the Northeast then you can adjust the math for your area.

For the sake of argument then here goes: If you make One Hundred Thousand dollars and up a year and you are a Democrat you're a dummy. If you make sixty thousand or less and you are a Republican. You're  a dummy. If you make anywhere from $40,000 and below and you are a Republican then you are a stone cold IDIOT! Now that is as blunt as I can be.

So when I hear people who are doing well say I vote GOP then I understand. I might not agree. But, I fully understand. But, when I hear people that are one paycheck away from losing their home or one injury or heart attack or car wreck away from financial ruin spouting about how they don't want to support dead beats who don't have health insurance I honestly cringe. 

Healthcare: I don't really understand people who say healthcare isn't a right. It's a privilege. Well, you know what? It's not a privilege or a right. It's a human need. And if you are so gripe gutted and spiritually blind that you think a person should die of cancer of heart disease or diabetes in a nation with all of our resources then I  got nothing else to say to you.

Abortion: Yeah I'm a little left of center and yeah I hate abortion. I cringe at people who say they are pro life and then promote policies that strip Medicaid and financial assistance to pregnant mothers and struggling families. But, I honestly don't see the difference in aborting a child and supporting taking medical care away from a child's family or an adults family for that matter. Watching people die on the street homeless and hungry in a land where we throw food away because it's past it's expiration date or was left over. We can and should do better. 

Jesus: This gets tricky. I call myself a Jesus Follower these days instead of a Christian. It's because I honestly believe in treating others the way I would want to be treated. I honestly believe in the reality of God taking human experience and showing that there is no barrier between the Divine and the creatures that are a part of the Divine. I have been raised to be a Christian my entire life. I have struggled with what I see as man made dogma and the silliness of one size fits all religion. But, I have never struggled with my core relationship with God/Holy Spirit/ Christ. I don't believe in hellfire and brimstone and I don't believe a Loving God could ever rest if even one creature was outside the reach of home. So, I'm a universalist. You can google it if you don't know what a Christian Universalist is. That is if you want to do that. I don't really care  cause I ain't trying to convert anybody to my way of thinking.

I actually have my own reasons to lean towards reincarnation as a partial explanation of spiritual realty. But, that also gets swallowed up in dogma and religion easily so I don't use the word belief or believe. Honestly, I don't "believe" in god. I have a life long inner dialog that has at times been responded to in dreams, visions and intuition enough that I know with intimacy the one that I commune with. I don't believe in the sunrise or the sunset. I don't believe in the evolution of the species or the airplane flying overhead. These things are self evident to me. I don't believe in my own inner life and dreams and thoughts because no "belief" is required. That's how I look at God/Ground of all being/Goddess/All that is. But, if you don't see it that way then I don't argue or blast you. I'm right and you're not and one bright day you will see that. :-) 

Conservative: Once in a story I was reading a group of devil worshipers were doing a ceremony. In the story an actual fallen angel is watching them. The demon is disgusted with them. amatures thought the demon. They have no idea what true evil is. Well, sometimes I think that as I read some far right person calling me a libtard or snowflake. Amature! You have no idea what a conservative is. I'm not one now. But, I was one. And a damn real one. I was a "Dittohead" and I laughed at all the in jokes "From the womb to the tomb." Basetball Jones and other Limbaugh idiocy. I yelled at women thinking about abortions and I made fun of the godless idiot liberals. 

But, then slowly I started to really listen to what was being said. Limbaugh once had a show where a liberal ecology person died of cancer. He spent a whole show running chain saw effects in the background and yelling "timber" every time he mentioned her death. I came away from that show feeling like I needed a bath. It felt like he had spent the whole show throwing eggs at a funeral. So, while I honestly hate the thought of anybody including him dying of cancer. I also understand that he could be a nasty piece of work. 

Then I started to listen to how cold it was to deny people healthcare and basic human dignity. and I slowly over the years turned left and liberal. In recent years I've turned back towards the center just a little bit. I'm still a little left but not so far my brains fall out.

Anyway, this has been a hard blog to write. I have gotten to the point where politics and religion and yelling at each other just wears me out. So, I'll leave this here and continue to focus on the positive. After all life is short. This journey has gone by fast. Seems like yesterday I was a kid and now I'm 63 and counting. 

Peace.

3AM Thoughts

   Do you Love?....Skeleton Crew forward page "Stephen King."

I had the above quote rattling around in my head this morning after waking up at around 3 and stumbling to the bathroom. Sounds like a nice little quote and certainly it could come from any number of places. But, I heard it in my favorite authors voice. Now, if you are a Shakespeare person or a gothic romance  person or a religious person then I guess that is certainly a time for wonderful inspiration. But, if you hear it in the voice of Stephen King and your thoughts go back to the late 70's and early 80's and you remember the moment you read it? When you had hair so long that you had to constantly sweep it out of your eyes in order to see. When you had energy and felt like the days were never ending and someday your princess would come. Or prince perhaps if you were a female. But, enough about you. Lets talk about me. After all. Who does anybody love more than me? Meaning you love you and I love me and we give lip service to the rest. 

Do you Love? 

Lord Yes. I love. I love to think that I am important in the cosmos and that somehow I'm entitled to happiness. The only problem is I keep trying to find my happiness by pleasing other people. At least I used to. Now as I get older I don't try that quite so often. Life's too short. 

I've never been good at math. I've never been great at sentence structure or punctuation. But, mostly I have always seemed to struggle with math. It's as if I have a little guy in my brain. I picture it as if he has a switch. Kind of like a cartoon assembly line. Here's a word, another word. There's a complete thought. It's fine. Wait! Here comes a number. Shut it down! So he hits the button and my brain freezes up. The number goes on by and he presses the button again and my brain unfreezes.

Do you love?

I remember sitting in a classroom in elementary school. I could always read for some reason. Couldn't spell for crap. But, I could read. The little guy in my head loved words. images and colors and having my head in the clouds. So, my first grade teacher would have me read to the class out loud. I'm an introvert by nature. Just keep your head down and this too shall pass. So, one day the teacher called on me to read a passage out loud. I decided to fix this problem and show the other kid's that I fit right in. I stumbled over every word. My little mind was racing ahead because after all it was reading and I was actually good at it. 

But, on this day I stuttered and stammered and acted like I didn't know what the word was or how to pronounce it. The teacher knew I was faking but the other kid's didn't. I was fitting in right? Oh well. Not really. I was  still the little four eyed nerd that talked through his nose and the bullies were still bullies. But, I was trying to please.

Do you love?

Anyway, as the years went by I was constantly trying to please. I checked the boxes after a slow start in my youth. 1. Girls: Liked them. A lot. 2. Sports: I liked sports. Followed sports. But, wasn't anybody's pick at running back or point guard. 3. Religion: I had always talked to God in my mind so religion came fairly naturally. 4. Job: I was a slow starter. But, once I did put my nose to the old grindstone I kept at it. 5. College: I went off and on. Finally finished a Social Work Degree but we won't discuss how many starts and stops and years that took. I did it and that's a checkmark. I also got married and held my son (Lord, I was afraid I would drop him.) I remember shaking I was so scared. But, the nurse said I could and seemed to think I should. There is nothing like holding your child and being with your wife and child in bed thinking "We made this."

Do you love?

I think about "love" a lot these days. I hear people throw it around all the time. I love you. But, then they get mad and decide they don't love the person at all. Or if they are a good Southerner they say. "I don't hate them. I just hate their ways." A Southerner says that because they don't think Jesus would approve of them hating somebody so they just "hate their ways." Kind of like "Bless their heart" I don't hate them but I hate their ways. I hope they find God. Which in Southern speak means "I hope Karma hits them in the mouth hard."

Do you love?

Seems like since the election the conservatives have found their love of the military again. Now, they will fight anybody that says anything against it. While a certain orange man was in office it was okay to belittle Prisoners of war or at least say "I like people that don't get caught." It was okay to talk crap about a vet who was captured by the enemy while serving his country while the orange man was having bone spurs and grabbing em by the ...Well, you know. But, I'm not as thrilled as some conservatives think. I am very concerned with cancel culture and echo chambers on the left and  right. But,

Do you Love?

I hear a lot about love of country. But, which country? After all New York City is part of the country. Birmingham, Alabama is part of the country. Nebraska, Kansas, Georgia, Delaware. East to West. North to South. But those same people that "love my country" can't stand certain other people so I really don't know that they love or even know what love is.

Do you love?

I do. But, I don't try to please people anymore. I know people that are afraid to express their doubts and feelings because the church will think they are toying with the devil. I've seen people afraid to admit they don't believe all the religious stuff they were told to believe in their youth. I've seen people who pray but are afraid to mention it because somebody on facebook might think they are a kook. So, I've decided to just be me. I don't buy the religious dogma I used to buy. I still pray to a personal power that gets me through life. I don't apologize anymore, anytime, anyway for any of it.

Do you Love? 

I love to see people smile. I love to see people laugh. I love ice cream and cake. I love my wife and child. I love old friends and old flames and smoky old barrooms and  ...oh wait. I was channeling Willie Nelson there for a moment. 

Do you Love?

I do. But, the world has teeth. More teeth than  a Stephen King novel Sharper than any blade in a slasher flick. Hard surfaces and sharp edges. Love is a rose. But, you better not pick it. The thorns are sharp and when you grab it they can cut you. So, I try to let other people have space and take the love they give and forgive them when they just don't have much of it left to give. 

Do you Love?

Bless my heart. I guess I do. I don't hate. Although some people's ways are hard to understand. Thanks for reading my 3AM rambles. 

Peace!