Yoganonda,Willie Nelson & Me

 I didn't come here and i ain't leaving...Willie Nelson 

I always say I have no Guru. Except Willie Nelson. If i had a guru it would be Willie. Scarred, flawed and brilliant. I rarely hear anything i disagree with from Willie and he seems to own his flaws.

I know i own mine. Sometimes i think i'm misunderstood. But then after reflecting i think. "Nah. I really do have my head up my own butt most of the time." Often people who have judged me have been in the ballpark. It's just that they mostly needed to work on their own junk. I wake up in this skin everyday.

God is asleep in the rock, dreaming in the plant, awake in animals and fully awake in man... Parahasma Yoganonda 

Waking up isn't easy. Realizing that preachers and teachers and churches and 6000 year old traditions are no closer to the mind of God than my next thought. Somewhere down through the years I started to own my self. To trust that God, Goddess, Source is the only one with access to my deepest being and will never abandon me. 

After a hard day I'm safe at home. Fooling with my baby on the telephone. Out of nowhere somebody cuts in. And says. You in some trouble boy. We know where you been...Eagles "On the Border."

I lived too long answering to someone else's opinion on how i lived life. I'm now at a place where I try to be me and just be honest. I don't pretend to be cool or religious or politically correct. I'm just Steve. Or as i say "I Am."

I'll fly a starship across the universe divide. And when i reach the other side. I'll find a place to rest my spirit if I can. Perhaps i'll become a Highwayman again. Or i may simply be a single drop of rain. But i will remain. But I'll be back again and again and again and again and again...Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings and Kris Kristopherson.

I read Autobiography of a Yogi by Parahasma Yoganonda. Well i should say i read through a lot of it and listened on Audible. I found a reverence for the Divine and a view of Christ and Christ Consciousness that resonated with my spirit. Not a dogma. I don't do dogma. Not a religion. I don't do religion. But a spiritual addition to my own path. 

I have no intention of promoting anything or converting anyone. I just enjoy talking about things that i find important. There is a saying some attribute to Buddha. " You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to." When it comes to politics and religion i take it to heart. I'll discuss but not argue.

I found chapter 43 in Autobiography of a Yogi subtitled The Resurrection of Sri Yuketeswar to be a game changer for me. I've read this chapter. Meditated and listened via Audible a few times. The Audible version of chapter 43 is a master class of the journey of spirit. From the gross body to the astral to the casual. 

If you are firmly religious or firmly atheist then most likely you won't be interested because it doesn't go into apologetics trying to convert or convince you. It also has lots of flowery prose and veneration of Yoganonda's guru Sri Yuketeswar. I found much of it more of a homage to the guru Sri Yuketeswar than a concrete Western style religious story. 

But taking in my own journey which is on going i found a treasure trove of ways of looking at what we call death.

Do i recommend it? Not necessarily. I have come to a place where i understand that all of us are on our own unique journey. But if you have any interest in Eastern thought or have studied meditation or reincarnation at all then I think it can be valuable to you. 

Blessed is the one who was alive before he was born... Jesus "Gospel of Thomas."

My main goal now is to treat every creature the way i would want to be treated. I don't always succeed and i don't always even try. But it's my only religious creed these days. 

Christian universalism, or in context simply universalism) is the doctrine that all sinful and alienated human souls—because of divine love and mercy—will ultimately be reconciled to God.

I might not be sure of the vehicle. But i'm sure we are all just walking each other home.

Love never fails... Jesus.

Now before you accuse me of picking and choosing let me tell you now. We all choose every day of our lives. I choose to listen to my heart and i'll choose love. It never fails.

Peace!

 know my soul is experiencing this life.This dream world. This moment. As a fleeting moment in eternal reality. I feel the pump of the blood through the veins. The beat of the heart. The looks of the young as they see the next fleeting moment and think of it as all reality. 

But they don't see me anymore than i saw my elders along the journey. There was a man and he didn't walk in this dream world long. Some say he didn't walk or even exist at all. Some believe he must have had a Superman "S"  under his cloak and an antiseptic bland inner life of totally separate thoughts than the ordinary humans around him.

 I think he walked the earth. I think he used the toilet and noticed the human form around him and sweated and fought and lived in his brief trip of a lifetime of experience. 

I think the temptation wasn't as simple as the legends that sprang up around the New Testament.i don't think taunting a rich kid who already recognized his own divinity would be much of a temptation. 

But tempting and taunting a man, a human being like me? That's the temptation. The thought that "you're not good enough, you're not really a divine being straight from the source of all love. What awaits you is nothingness, darkness."

Now that's scary. That's the temptation of humanity which is represented in Jesus. That's the "Temptation of the Christ " That's the seed of fear that enables war, poverty and hate.

To take up a cross. To say that this intense dream world with all it's importance and pleasure and desire isn't the most important state or even the true state of being. That even death doesn't touch "I AM" that's what i feel Jesus was saying and doing. 

To Resurrection. I stood at the graves of my Maternal grandparents several years ago. I got the most wonderful thought in my mind as i stood there. "Happy Easter." It wasn't March or April. But they had experienced Easter! I will soon have a Happy Easter myself.

 So on this day when some feel only they have a pipeline to eternal life. When other's feel the whole thing is a myth and others hide eggs and some have different beliefs i think there are some things most of us can agree on. Chocolate easter bunnies are good 😊 Hope is eternal.

I have my own thoughts about resurrection and eternal reality. I don't have a religion to sell or a cynical snide dismissal of others journey. 

But Easter? I'm all in! I follow the hope and the reality of the one who says "love never fails " So on this journey and on this day i truly say with my grandparents and all of the reality of spirit. "Happy Easter!"

Peace!

Meditation

I am immersed in thine Divine Light... Parahasma Yoganonda 

  I've been interested in meditation from my youth. But being raised in the bible belt the discipline of meditation wasn't really part of my upbringing. However silent prayer was and later in life i found they went well together. 

As i grew away from the dogma i was raised in i found strength in silent prayer and meditation. As i grow more sure footed on my path i find the stillness of meditation calms my body and helps calm what i call "monkey mind" or the swirl of thoughts and worries when i get or try to get still.

I am living in that light...yogananda

During a week sometime ago i started having a recurring theme in my dreams. I remember it as a week  maybe it was just one or two nights. Maybe more. But at some point in the distance I would see someone standing and a bright beam or light would be coming out of their forehead.

I didn't really think that much about it at the time because it was once or maybe twice. (Yes  i know my time frame keeps changing.) 

It fills every particle of my being... Yoganonda

So one day i'm meditating lying down using an app on my phone. Somewhere in the meditation i drifted off. As i was between sleep and coming awake i found myself plunged into complete light! Brighter than 3 suns but yet my eyes were completely comfortable. I actually thought "wow, how peaceful and pleasant and my eyes are fine "

The Divine Spirit fills me within and without... Yoganonda

Also when i thought about it i felt everything that is,was or ever will be is in that light. 

I could have touched my loved ones and been home if i had stayed. But I don't remember being given a choice. If i was then here i am. If i wasn't then here i am. 

So why am i writing about meditation? Quoting a Hindu guru and sounding like a new age space cadet? I promise it's not meant to convert anyone or try to say this is the way to salvation. I'm at a place where God,Goddess,Source,Spirit or even atheism is fine by me as long as you're respectful of my own journey. 

Be still and know that I Am God...The Bible

I've found wisdom in different texts and ways of being. I've also found things that are contradictory in certain text and perhaps corrupted from the original.

I sometimes like to speculate on concepts that are either important, interesting or just plain fun to me. I also have friends who sometimes are curious about meditation or why i "believe" in reincarnation or Christian Universalism (Christ will reconcile all to himself.) 

But the truth is i don't "believe." I experience and try to treat others as i want to be treated. Death is a continuation of my journey. I don't look forward to sickness or disability or disease. I'm not in a hurry. But i do look forward to seeing what's over the upcoming hill.

What you do to the least of these. You do to me...Jesus

 Finally to my Christian friends and family. For they are many since i'm Southern and from the bible belt.

I often see you post things that i absolutely find wrong or misguided about angry god and wrathful Jesus. I keep scrolling. Because i either love you or respect that you have been raised in it or truly believe it. 

But once in awhile an angry atheist or born again Christian will leave a little snark. I wouldn't do it to you out of respect. If you do it to me I won't dog cuss you or block you. But i'll delete your comment and consider your opinion silly at best and extremely disrespectful at worse.

I love to talk about religion, spiritual journeys and even politics in person. But social media has become a vast echo chamber of people yelling over and at each other.

But wisdom is justified of all her children...Luke 7:35

So if you find hope, wisdom or peace in my little sharing of my morning or nightly meditation i thank you. If not? Keep scrolling. 

Om, Peace, Amen!

Life, old age and rock&roll

mmer and you can feel it fading fast...Steely Dan 

Your everlasting summer and you can feel it fading fast...Steely Dan

  So there i am late into my 66th trip around the sun. I'm walking on some uneven ground at Tuscaloosa River Walk. I find myself listing a little as i walk. But this can't be true! Must be that little old man that keeps blocking out my true reflection when i look in the mirror.

I think there are two kinds of older people. Those who are young for their age and those who are old for their age. I appear to be somewhere in the middle. (That's three) Oh well.I know folks my age who can run circles around me. But some i can still lap. Of course after heart surgery i think i'm doing fairly well. 

Seasons don't fear the reaper...Blue Oyster Cult.

So i'm at that season now. I honestly don't fear the reaper. I do worry about becoming decrepit. I've always known we are here for a season. Even losing my religion didn't change my confidence that love wins. But boy is it a 

"Long Strange Trip"...Jerry Garcia

Books: i was always a voracious reader. I haunted my Public library from my youth. Fiction, non fiction, the paranormal pro & some con, religion. Horror novels and some mystery. I used to wonder how people developed a worldview if they didn't read. But now?

Maybe it's my eyesight which makes it harder to enjoy reading. But i think it's deeper. I find it harder to focus on any one thing. Also i'm constantly checking X (formerly Twitter) facebook and YouTube. Texts & messages. At least my collection of unread ebooks don't take up physical space. 

TV: i was raised on TV. But if i plop down in front of one now i'm bored to death in no time flat. 200 channels of the SSDD. "Same sh.t different day." I start checking email, social media and ebooks and podcasts. As for movies? I ain't got time for that! I gotta check my email  

Sports: Now i've always enjoyed being at a baseball game more than sitting watching it on TV. So no huge surprise there. But i found myself bored watching football this year. If it was a Bama game i was locked in. But otherwise just skip to the second half. Basketball? If they had a channel that only showed the last five minutes I'd be there. Otherwise? Not so much. 

But the NFL has redzone and that's perfect for my attention span these days. MLB has a baseball equivalent so that's good. 

Youtube has old tv shows and scenes so that helps with TV. Walking while listening to audio books & podcasts is good and i can still play my guitar and pull up concerts from the good old days online.

She in all her magic. With hands as quick as light took him to be a challenge and went into the night...Stevie Nicks "Highwayman"

I was thinking today about moments of magic. A bright sunny day when in my youth i could taste the energy of the day. Starry nights where you look up at the sky and wonder about souls, eternity and past lives. 

Mirrors on the ceiling. With pink champagne on ice. And she said, we are all just prisoners here, of our own device. ... Eagles "Hotel California." 

No doubt that my reactions have often determined the course of my life. I know crap happens. But i've often found myself in situations of my own making wondering why God let that happen. 

So i try to give others room to mess up just as i ask for room to mess up. 

This is just a little rambling and no real deeper message. I just sometimes wonder how i got from 16 to 66 so fast! 

Thanks for reading my rambles. 

Peace!

 Dan 

Your everlasting summer and you can feel it fading fast...Steely Dan 

  So there i am late into my 66th trip around the sun. I'm walking on some uneven ground at Tuscaloosa River Walk. I find myself listing a little as i walk. But this can't be true! Must be that little old man that keeps blocking out my true reflection when i look in the mirror.

I think there are two kinds of older people. Those who are young for their age and those who are old for their age. I appear to be somewhere in the middle. (That's three) Oh well.I know folks my age who can run circles around me. But some i can still lap. Of course after heart surgery i think i'm doing fairly well. 

Seasons don't fear the reaper...Blue Oyster Cult.

So i'm at that season now. I honestly don't fear the reaper. I do worry about becoming decrepit. I've always known we are here for a season. Even losing my religion didn't change my confidence that love wins. But boy is it a 

"Long Strange Trip"...Jerry Garcia

Books: i was always a voracious reader. I haunted my Public library from my youth. Fiction, non fiction, the paranormal pro & some con, religion. Horror novels and some mystery. I used to wonder how people developed a worldview if they didn't read. But now?

Your everlasting summer and you can feel it fading fast...Steely Dan 

  So there i am late into my 66th trip around the sun. I'm walking on some uneven ground at Tuscaloosa River Walk. I find myself listing a little as i walk. But this can't be true! Must be that little old man that keeps blocking out my true reflection when i look in the mirror.

I think there are two kinds of older people. Those who are young for their age and those who are old for their age. I appear to be somewhere in the middle. (That's three) Oh well.I know folks my age who can run circles around me. But some i can Your everlasting summer and you can feel it fading fast...Steely Dan 

  So there i am late into my 66th trip around the sun. I'm walking on some uneven ground at Tuscaloosa River Walk. I find myself listing a little as i walk. But this can't be true! Must be that little old man that keeps blocking out my true reflection when i look in the mirror.

I think there are two kinds of older people. Those who are young for their age and those who are old for their age. I appear to be somewhere in the middle. (That's three) Oh well.I know folks my age who can run circles around me. But some i can still lap. Of course after heart surgery i think i'm doing fairly well. 

Seasons don't fear the reaper...Blue Oyster Cult.

So i'm at that season now. I honestly don't fear the reaper. I do worry about becoming decrepit. I've always known we are here for a season. Even losing my religion didn't change my confidence that love wins. But boy is it a 

"Long Strange Trip"...Jerry Garcia

Books: i was always a voracious reader. I haunted my Public library from my youth. Fiction, non fiction, the paranormal pro & some con, religion. Horror novels and some mystery. I used to wonder how people developed a worldview if they didn't read. But now?

Maybe it's my eyesight which makes it harder to enjoy reading. But i think it's deeper. I find it harder to focus on any one thing. Also i'm constantly checking X (formerly Twitter) facebook and YouTube. Texts & messages. At least my collection of unread ebooks don't take up physical space. 

TV: i was raised on TV. But if i plop down in front of one now i'm bored to death in no time flat. 200 channels of the SSDD. "Same sh.t different day." I start checking email, social media and ebooks and podcasts. As for movies? I ain't got time for that! I gotta check my email  

Sports: Now i've always enjoyed being at a baseball game more than sitting watching it on TV. So no huge surprise there. But i found myself bored watching football this year. If it was a Bama game i was locked in. But otherwise just skip to the second half. Basketball? If they had a channel that only showed the last five minutes I'd be there. Otherwise? Not so much. 

But the NFL has redzone and that's perfect for my attention span these days. MLB has a baseball equivalent so that's good. 

Youtube has old tv shows and scenes so that helps with TV. Walking while listening to audio books & podcasts is good and i can still play my guitar and pull up concerts from the good old days online.

She in all her magic. With hands as quick as light took him to be a challenge and went into the night...Stevie Nicks "Highwayman"

I was thinking today about moments of magic. A bright sunny day when in my youth i could taste the energy of the day. Starry nights where you look up at the sky and wonder about souls, eternity and past lives. 

Mirrors on the ceiling. With pink champagne on ice. And she said, we are all just prisoners here, of our own device. ... Eagles "Hotel California." 

No doubt that my reactions have often determined the course of my life. I know crap happens. But i've often found myself in situations of my own making wondering why God let that happen. 

So i try to give others room to mess up just as i ask for room to mess up. 

This is just a little rambling and no real deeper message. I just sometimes wonder how i got from 16 to 66 so fast! 

Thanks for reading my rambles. 

Peace!

 lap. Of course after heart surgery i think i'm doing fairly well. 

Seasons don't fear the reaper...Blue Oyster Cult.

So i'm at that season now. I honestly don't fear the reaper. I

  So there i am late into my 66th trip around the sun. I'm walking on some uneven ground at Tuscaloosa River Walk. I find myself listing a little as i walk. But this can't be true! Must be that little old man that keeps blocking out my true reflection when i look in the mirror.

I think there are two kinds of older people. Those who are young for their age and those who are old for their age. I appear to be somewhere in the middle. (That's three) Oh well.I know folks my age who can run circles around me. But some i can still lap. Of course after heart surgery i think i'm doing fairly well. 

Seasons don't fear the reaper...Blue Oyster Cult.

So i'm at that season now. I honestly don't fear the reaper. I do worry about becoming decrepit. I've always known we are here for a season. Even losing my religion didn't change my confidence that love wins. But boy is it a 

"Long Strange Trip"...Jerry Garcia

Books: i was always a v

Morning Meditation

 Just sit. No agenda.

Jesus and morning coffee

 

Do you believe in an afterlife?" The gunslinger asked him as Brown dropped three ears of corn onto his plate. Brown nodded. "I think this is it." ....Stephen King "The Gunslinger."

Me: Well Jesus to start the morning I woke up from kind of negative dreams of vaguely remembering someone doing some action in a relationship they didn't really feel like doing. Not being real. Then I opened up facebook. An Alabama fan football site came up with a negative post about the team and coaching staff. Then I reloaded and one of my spiritual seeker groups came up and the first thing I saw was a picture of an infamous atheist debunker and a quote from him. Then I go to X or the site formerly known as Twitter and a whole discussion of a snarky "reporter" trashing people who research the odd things in life comes up. Oh yeah, and I did pause in the middle of this early morning and asked for guidance and wisdom in a meditative/prayerful moment. Also, I looked out the door and instead of bright sunshine it looked like a rainy dreary day was cooking.

Thinking, reading and repeating statements of truth with deep attention will help to clear away negation...Paramahansa Yogananda

Jesus: So what do you feel about it? Doomed? Depressed? Distraught?

Me: No, not really any of those. I think the universe is trying to tell me something but I'm not really sure what to do about it.

Jesus: Listen! Breathe and ask deep inside yourself what is going on. What are the deepest issues you struggle with right now?

Me: My inner life. As I get older my body has twitches and aches and stumbles that it didn't use to have. My mind wanders and I find myself brutally honest when I look at religion and politics but still deflecting when I look at my own inner life.

Sign, sign everywhere a sign. Blockin' out the scenery breakin my mind...Signs by The Five Man Electrical Band.

Jesus: Legend and stories and popes and organizations and even translations of stories from 2 to 6000 years old make people judge the thoughts of others. People worship politics and divide over skin tone and accents and who has the most toys. Distraction and coloring hair and blurring photos on social media and trying so hard to hold on to things that never "belonged" to them in the first place. Propping up a political system that cares more about spending money to drop bombs than feeding, clothing and housing its own population. I can see where you might be a little stressed.

Me: Are you mad?

Jesus: I'm not the one going to hell. Laughs. "Gotta love Seinfeld."

Me: Tell the boss where  I get my sense of humor next time you see him.

People cannot see anything that truly is without becoming like it. "Gnostic Gospel of Phillip."

Jesus: But seriously. I walked where you are walking now. I woke up in the same skin everyday. It's not easy being human. Wrapped up in the NOW as if only the present comfort means anything and everything else is somewhere in the far future or the distant past.

Me: Isn't that a paradox? I mean you seem to be saying "live now" but also saying don't make decisions and fret about a moment that is passing before you even finish the next sentence.

Jesus: Yes.

Me: Oh great! That clears it up  then.

Jesus: Laughs.

Me: My inner life is as calm as it's ever been but my calmness is kind of based on being old  and realizing that I can't start a new job or make more money or afford a vacation. So I might as well be calm and watch my body deteriorate and hope for the best.

Jesus: You know better than that. You live at a time where medical science can give you a better quality of life than any other time in history. That's the good part. But just as you see people trying to present themselves as still looking like they are 25 instead of 65 on social media you are trying to deny death. By doing that you are denying life.  Also, I'll tell you a secret. It's all life!

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy...Bill Hicks.

"I know where I came from and where I'm  going." Jesus...John 8:14

Me: I intuit that from my journey. I AM is the name of God and I Am is where I come from. That's all I can ever be and I can never be less.

Jesus: Some things can't be put into words but  that's a start.

Me: So about  this dreary start  to the day. What should I do?

Even if your heart is breakin' It's waiting for you to awaken. Someday you will. Learn to be still...Eagles

Jesus: Listen. Watch and seek understanding. You're not doomed by physical events that are passing. Or because  the chemicals of your body are out of line or because some angry old man with a stick up his butt is angry at you from his distant throne. You're learning to be still. 

Me: So Jesus. Are you really there?

Jesus: Are you?

Me: I'm pretty certain I am. Although I don't really understand. I'm not the body but I crave the body. I'm not my hands or legs but I feel them. I'm not an organism in my head or a muscle in my chest. I'm me. I AM. But I don't really understand how to put myself in space and time.  For instance, I had surgery. The doctor cut my chest but I wasn't the chest. He repaired a problem in my heart or at least patched it up. But, I wasn't the heart. I owned or at least I use the heart to express my feelings here. I come from a biological birth and feel a connection with my mother who birthed me but I didn't simply pop into existence. I come from an ocean of being but I'm not the ocean I come from.

Jesus: Hmm. Sounds like you need to find yourself before you try to define if I'm really there or if there is a being on a throne somewhere or angels or demons. Sounds like you need to find yourself. If you find yourself then you will find that all the answers are there. Or maybe not. Who knows?

 

Me: Well I have  found one thing that keeps me going. The connection with the ocean of all that is, has been or will ever be. I AM. I feel that connection and the great cloud of witnesses who are a little ahead or a little behind me on the journey.

Jesus: Feel better?

Me: Well it doesn't feel like a "come to Jesus" moment. Pardon the pun. But, I feel like I need and want to stop and listen today for a still small voice.

Jesus: Or a smack upside the head.  "smiles."

Me: Okay. Let's continue the dance.

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is really energy condensed to a slow vibration,that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively,there is no such thing as death. Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather...Bill Hicks.

Peace!

Happy Little World's

 We have a sadly senile old man as president. We have a narcissist old fool in legal jeopardy trying to run against him. We have people cheering wars as if it were a football game. Inflation making feeding a family extremely challenging while the media says "look over here." So i decided to think happy thoughts about music and happy little tree's. 

My nephew had Super Mario back in the day. That was challenging to my young adult self. Of course my 7 year old nephew killed it. But in between the hard levels i always liked the sunny happy backgrounds and uplifting jingles of the game. I called it "Happy little world."

So i'm stepping into my happy little world for a bit.

I'm a very amateur guitar player and i plunk chords on the piano. Still i prefer playing to passively listening to music. But like most boomers music shaped a lot of the way i related to life in my youth. 

So here is some of the music that helped me get through my misspent youth.

Day after Day...Badfinger

A middle school gym. A 7th grade me and an old childhood friend that i all of a sudden realized was a good looking young lady.

Slow Ride.. Foghat

A absolute beautiful blonde (prettiest girl ever from Altoona Alabama) too much beer and warm smell of colitas. 

Three Steps...Lynard Skynard

Turn it up!

Looking out my back door..Credence Clearwater Revival

My first speeding ticket. You shouldn't press the gas pedal harder to fast music.

Good Day in Hell... Eagles

Oh well. It's been a good day in hell. And tomorrow I'll be glory bound.

Desperado... Linda Ronstadt

She hits that final note and i happily drown in those big brown eyes

Tequila Sunrise...Eagles

Take me to the Bama gulf coast and let me float away 

IF...Bread

Okay. So sometimes even a misguided youth can appreciate the greatest love ballad ever written.

These are not my all time favorites although they rank up there. But they take me back to a simpler time. 

A time when you picked up a telephone like a savage with no idea who was calling. A time when a cola and a candy bar was breakfast and a blood pressure pill was something really old people took. News was a 30 minute Walter Cronkite thing before the sitcoms came on and presidential concerns were tucked away in Washington DC where they belonged. Jesus loved all the little children no matter the parents political leanings and color TV's weighed 1000 lbs with a huge 28 inch screen and sometimes (gasp) stereo sound!

Anyway now back to senile old men and wars and inflation and yelling at people who disagree with you on social media. 

On second thought. I think i'll stay in my happy little world painting happy little tree's a while longer.

Peace!