Saturday, August 24, 2019

Pilgrim Soul

  When you are old and grey and full of sleep,...William Butler Yeats


When I was still a young man and much more prone to "the feels" I watched an episode of "The New" Twilight Zone that has stayed with me all these years. I emphasize new because the New Twilight Zone is over thirty years old.

The plot started with two scientist that build a holographic projector. Out of nowhere it starts to project the image of a human fetus. Now, I had to check Wikipedia for the plot because honestly I barely remember where I put my phone from minute to minute these days.

and nodding by the fire, take down this book...Yeats

The fetus starts to age at the rate of ten years a day. The child quickly ages into a young woman named Nola. She has a past and can tell them where she came from. She tells them of being a young woman from the early part of the 20th Century.

and slowly read, and dream of the soft look your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep:...Yeats

So, have they captured the soul of a young woman? A wondering soul somehow caught in the technology of science? Or is she simply the projection simply by chance of their invention?

How many loved your moments of glad grace,...Yeats

Kevin who is one of the scientist has a strained relationship with his wife. Their marriage is on the rocks. Nola talks to him about her past life. He is falling in love with her. She ages and become pregnant with a child from her husband Robert. Kevin feels jealous even though he doesn't know any Robert.

And loved your beauty with love false or true...Yeats

They have had long discussions and share a love of the poetry of William Butler Yeats. Nola has a miscarriage. Kevin's fellow scientist Dan finds out that Nola died as a result of the miscarriage and Robert died himself out of grief and guilt.

But, one man loved the pilgrim soul in you...Yeats

As Nola is dying she somehow uses a voice modifier and posing as Robert calls Robert's wife Carol asking her to come to the lab.

And loved the sorrows of your changing face...Yeats

In her final conversation with Kevin she reveals that he is the reincarnation of Robert. Nola tells him that in his grief he drew her back to him to have this final moment. As Nola passes and fades away Kevin's wife comes in the lab.  A child's ball bounces out of the holograph and into her hands. They have a very emotional reunion. Maybe she was pregnant I really don't remember. Maybe she was Nola. That seemed to be the point of the symbolism.

And bending down beside the glowing bars, murmur a little sadly, how love fled and paced upon the mountains overhead. And hid his face amid a crowd of stars...William Butler Yeats

 This was my all time favorite episode of Twilight Zone. I had started to really explore my own childhood and life long memories. I still had and still have much to learn and discover. But, I had always had this feeling that maybe, just maybe there was something to this eternal being thing that had nothing to do with the contradictions of religion or the just so stories of Sunday school or even the just so stories of modern science with it's emphasis on the illusion of the soul being just a by product of the brain.

I don't mean to offend anyone that I grew up with who hold on to the faith of my upbringing. I understand. But, I have taken a long time to finally be able to say what I have long suspected. I have wrestled with these questions most of my life and I still can't say I am absolutely sure of where we come from and where we are going. But, I never forgot "Her Pilgrim Soul."

  I don't look to pop culture or movies or songs to decide what is true and what isn't true in this world. But, no matter how you look at it the Yeats poem is a beautiful work.

It was rainy and I felt like doing a blog and I thought of this poem. I'm not a big poetry guy but this is my favorite and even though it's a short list with me it's still an honestly beautiful verse. Anyway, I'll get back to horror movies and space aliens and even the evils of "The Donald" one of these blogs. But, for now...

Alas, he was the highway man the one that comes and goes and only the high-way woman keeps up with the likes of those....Stevie Nicks "The Highway Man."

  Again, thanks for reading my ramblings.

 Peace.

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Fangs for the memories.

Haunting memory, veiled in misty glow, phantom melody, playing soft, and low. ...Shadows of the night (Quentin's Theme.}

I've been a horror novel and movie fan most of my life. I still remember watching old science fiction movies on the family black and white TV. My mother of all people loved the old horror movies and she encouraged my enjoyment. I remember watching the Amazing Colossal Man which was released the year I was born. Although full disclosure I didn't actually watch it until a few years had passed. I remember the old Dialing for Dollars afternoon movie and I would watch giant radioactive spiders and lizards and flying saucers complete with the local car lot commercials. Ah, the joy's of pre internet streaming services. Not even a VHR much less a DVD player. As with many people my age I would rush home in the afternoon from elementary school to see the latest episode of Dark Shadows and of course the greatest vampire this side of Dracula Barnabas Collins. Screw you Johnny Depp and the little pirate ship you rode in on. You made a travesty of a great character and series. 

  "We couldn't even hear you in the night...no one could. No one lives any nearer than town. No one else will come any nearer than that."
I know, Eleanor said tiredly"" In the night Mrs Dudley said, and smiled outright."  In the dark, she said." ...The Haunting of Hill House.

The Haunting of Hill House 1963 version scared me a few short years later as I was in front of the TV and for some reason no one else was around. I can't remember why but it was broad daylight and chances are I had come home from second grade or so and turned on the TV. I was paralyzed with fear and transfixed in front of the TV. Scared out of my young mind and having so much fun and yet..yet, what was that? I'm not going to move. Maybe if I just yell mother will hear me and come into the room. But, if I yell then "they" might hear me and then they will know I'm scared. Images of moving statues and little girls growing old and dying while beating on the wall with a cane and loud footsteps in the halls of Hill House while Julie Harris and Claire Bloom held each other in the dark and cowered as "Oh my God, who was holding my hand?" came from Julie Harris and I was enraptured with that movie. Even now it has the ability to chill me just a little.

Mid to late 1970's...Gadsden, Alabama Mall bookstore. I pick up a paperback called "Salem's Lot." A clerk comes up and say's "Oh, yeah. Stephen King. He's a young writer that people say is pretty good." ....

  Such is the hand of fate as a lifelong "Constant Reader" is born. I devoured Salem's Lot and then? Joy to the world he already had written a book called "Carrie." How had I missed that? Now, around 44 years later I have read and reread as many books as Stephen King has written. I would walk into the Gadsden Public Library and before I even said a word the librarian would say "Yes, you are already on the list for the new Stephen King book. 

  I also had the good fortune of growing up in a neighborhood with a drive in theater. Now, my mother and step dad had a rocky marriage at times. But, there were also some good times and memories. One of the best memories is coming home from school and pop corn would be popping and cola's would be sitting on the table and my mother would say "we are going to the drive in tonight."  Me and my sister would get in our pajamas and pile in the car and off we would go for the couple a mile drive to the drive in. If we were really lucky there would be (especially during Halloween season) a "Dusk till Dawn" Horror movie festival with Christopher Lee and Vincent Price, Peter Cushing and Boris Karloff. Dracula and Son of Dracula and Dracula's Daughter and the Wolf Man and the Living Dead. Back to back to back. 

Charles Grant, Alan Ryan, Dennis Etchinson, Jere Cunningham, JN Williamson. No, these are not household names. But, a few of the names of horror authors that I read "back in the day." I can remember having a drawer full of paperback novels in a drawer at my grandparents house. Books were an escape for me. I rarely read fiction these days. For one thing my 60 plus year old eyes don't adjust well to print. Although, my Kindle ereader helps. The back light and the font adjustment are eye savers. I also don't have the same ability to get lost in a book that I did in my youth. I wonder if fiction of all types will ever be quite the same. No, it won't go away. We will always love a good scare or a good portal out of the mundane. But, the medium will be more visual and intergrated with graphics and voice or at least I suspect that it will be.


One of my race crossed the Danube and destroyed the Turkish host. Though sometimes beaten back he came again and again then at the end he came again for he alone could triumph. This was a Dracula Indeed....Christopher Lee as Count Dracula.

I knew all the lore. Silver bullets for the werewolf and wooden stakes and holy water and a cross for vampires. Zombies? I hate zombies. 

Did you know a vampire can't cross running water? A werewolf can be identified by a unibrow. A ghost will tell you it's name if you ask it. Vampires don't cast a reflection in a mirror. Bat's may well be vampires just waiting to transform. I mean I knew stuff. Important stuff if I ever meet up with a member of the living dead. Zombies? I hate zombies.

Did you know the Mummy was buried in a tomb and a curse would be put on anybody who broke in? They would pull his brains out through his nose before burial so no wonder he was mean and cranky when he was disturbed. I knew all kind of stuff from my wide reading and movie watching about things that go bump in the night.

I'm afraid there is no alternative. In such a case, the planet earth would have to be...eliminated. Klaatu "The Day the Earth Stood Still." 

Oh great, now there were powerful space aliens to deal with. Oh well, at least the death rays will take care of those damn zombies.

I will always enjoy a good horror movie. Actually as I get older I really don't get as into horror as I did in my youth. I have zero interest in most of the slasher movies except for Halloween and the original Friday the 13th or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. These days I'm more comfortable with action and comedy and my reading leans more towards non fiction and the possibility that once I shake off this mortal coil the party continues. Honestly, if you read the research it's a real possibility. But, that's a different blog all together. 

So, even though it's hot as Hades in Bama right now on this August evening. Pull up to the fire and wrap yourself in your shawl or robe. I smell a hint of Autumn in the air and the corn has been harvested. At least that's what "He who walks among the rows" say's. 

Either way, I hope you enjoyed a little of the journey in Stevie's love of horror movies and books. 

I hope we can make it to the castle before dark. The horses are laboring and the sun is descending behind the mountains. But, up ahead I think that shadow is the turrets of the Castle. Yes, we made it.there's our host.

"I am Count Dracula and I bid you welcome, Mr Harker to my house.Come in, the night air is chill, and you must need to eat and rest....Bram Stoker ..."Dracula."

  As always, thanks for reading my ramblings and Pleasant Dreams! 

Monday, August 5, 2019

Early Morning Musings.

  Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too...John Lennon


  Do you ever imagine? I find myself at 2:30 in the morning just not getting there as far as sleep goes tonight/today. Even the old reliable guided meditation download on my earbuds isn't quite doing it tonight. I went to bed around ten and around 2:30 my body parts starting with my bladder yells "rise and shine" cause we are up! So, I sneak out of the bedroom hoping not to wake Cindy and go past the dog hoping she doesn't sound the alarm that something is moving in the house and head for the computer room. I then give my mind (not a worried mind just a busy mind tonight) permission to imagine and think.


Sing it sweet and clear
Oh mama, let me hear
That old rock and roll lullaby...B.J. Thomas

I sometimes wonder if my generation was the last to grow up on music. We didn't have the internet so we waited until our favorite artist would release an album. We didn't have as much segregation of our music back then. You might hear Al Green and then Jackson Browne and after that Willie Nelson or The Who on the radio. But, there was always an undercurrent of "rock." AM radio was the thing back then. There were giants on the earth broadcasting out into the night. I would be in my Gadsden, Alabama neighborhood or out at my grandparent's house in Altoona, Alabama and rock myself to sleep listening to WLS in Chicago with John Records Landecker playing the hits. Rocking me to sleep. I also would listen to talk radio such as KMOX out of Saint Louis. I still remember waking up and hearing my hometown stations in Gadsden, Alabama signing on the air. WGAD would sign on and I knew I had made it through the night and was back home again.

I'm young
I know
But even so
I know a thing or two, I learned from you..."Love Hurts" Nazareth


I was young but I had a lot more to learn. I just didn't know it at the time.  I think we miss youth is when we get older because it seemed like everything was out there and you were heading towards it. Now the road in the rear view mirror is longer than the road up ahead or at least from this limited view it appears so. But, I think there are more things in heaven and earth and to infinity and beyond (to mix the Bard with common pop culture) and I am optimistic that there are "Other Worlds Than These"  I know, but I had to throw a Dark Tower quote by Stephen King in there somewhere.


All We Are Saying is give Peace a chance...John Lennon


Peace. I find peace in stillness and meditation and prayer. Not because I'm devout. I no longer see God as a sky daddy to give me stuff because I found Jesus. But, because I've had enough experience along the way to be hopeful that this journey is meaningful and not simply a march towards oblivion or some sort of perverted hellfire and brimstone. Sorry, I don't mean to offend but I'm rambling about my thoughts here. Not trying to uphold or tear down religion or convert people as if I have the answer. I got questions though. 


The cup that I drink. You will drink....Jesus

I don't follow the religion of my youth anymore. The dogma just didn't survive my life experience or my prayers and questions. But, I still see in the person of Jesus the wisdom and hope and struggle of this journey. I remember when I was a kid and adults would take you to a funeral. I would see these old people with white hair go past the coffin. They would shake their heads in sadness as if the person in the coffin had been a poor unfortunate victim of a disease and they were spared. But, in my youth I figured out something. Everyone of them and everyone of us including me will drink that cup. So, is the hope of life after death as dead as my  faith in the religion of my youth? No, because I have had some personal affirmations that I and we are more than the body. But, I'm not interested in converting anybody to a particular religious proof. As Stevie Nicks sang "I keep my Visions to Myself.

I often see my old childhood friends post their religion on facebook and proclaim the faith. I don't have a problem with that as long as they understand that I don't want my government to be a "Christian" government. I don't want it to be an atheist government either or a Muslim or a Jewish or any other special interest government. I also don't want far left identity politics and social justice warriors running it. What if we just agreed that everybody has a right to health care regardless of social status. What if we stopped playing nanny to the world and cleaned up our own act. Not isolationism but simply work on our own stuff for awhile. Oh well, I'm not a spring chicken anymore so I guess that will be an issue for another generation in the coming years.


“It is not more surprising to be born twice than once...Votaire

I have my own reasons for suspecting that this isn't my first rodeo but, here is the thing in the United States or at least in the part of the country I'm from which is the Southeast or "The Bible Belt." You can proclaim Christianity and belief in certain dogma and be considered spiritually and morally and even mentally sound. You can say you are an atheist and even though you will get some funny looks and invites to church to save your sorry hide you will not be thought of as insane or mentally unstable. But, if you let it out of the bag that you suspect that you have made this journey before and that you are an eternal being having a human experience then you will be considered crazy at best. 

I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane...Waylon Jennings 

Writing thoughts down while sleep deprived is not the best way to have a coherent flow of consciousness. But, sometimes I just like to ramble and see where the road takes me. If you have come along on this ramble then thank you for giving me the honor of reading my blather.

Peace!