Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Morning thoughts.

  Yesterday I was really feeling as if there was a load that I was carrying around. It's a fine line between intuition and superstition at times. I've always been struck by times when I just "knew" or "know" something and yet you have to be careful that you don't project too much onto things. Sometimes a duck really is just a duck. Anyway, for some reason today that feeling just lifted. Not into a state of euphoria, just lifted as if a weight was gone. Anyway, on the trip to work I started to think about the things I actually believe. I remember seeing an old video on youtube with Carl Jung. The great psychiatrist said in answer to what he believed. "To believe is to not know." I have been blessed/cursed all of my life with a mind that wanted to "know." So, the bible says it I believe it just never worked for me. Science has "proven" also just never worked for me. So, what I "believe" has always been something that I didn't "know." I do have some things that I "know." They are not things that I can give you a rock hard stat in order to prove. They are not things that an appeal to an ancient writing has given me. They are things I have perceived and thought about and yes prayed about all during my life. I "know" that I am a part of the consciousness of being. I know that life has a purpose and that how we treat other people is the most telling and important bench mark of who we are and our closeness to the "One with who we all have to do." I don't think that god is an old man in the sky that reacts to our life with anger or anxiety. That might be Superman with the emphasis on "man" but not God. I also don't think that all life and meaning is simply a happy/sad little accident on a journey to oblivion. I can only sadly imagine such a dead soul as to crave or defend "nothingness." On the other hand I do understand that we are on a journey and this is not the final destination. There is an old Buddhist koan: "What was your face before you were born." I can remember when my son was still in the womb. I actually felt his presence during my walking and waking hours. I was walking down a street in Fort Carson, Colorado and thinking of him. Now, we had already decided to name him "Fox" after our favorite show the X Files. I look up and there is a Fox on the other side of the street walking down the sidewalk. Wow. Now in Colorado there are of course foxes and other wildlife and I'm not acting as if that was an impossible thing to have happen. But, still "Wow" So, I do think there are more things in heaven and earth. But, I only "know" a few of them.

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