The Wild God!

 I'm now going into or am already into my later 50's. Some memories and some of the journey sticks or makes an imprint and this term has certainly stuck with me over the years. "The Wild God," I was reading my hometown newspaper "The Gadsden Times" which I would devour for the comics and the sports section. But they would also have a column or article on religion or "This Strange World" or something like that. :-) Anyway, the title of the article was "The Wild God."  I was a kid raised in the Bible Belt and I was a voracious reader. I still don't really understand how a human being can develop a worldview without reading. Now, don't get me wrong. Just because a word is on a page and bound in a book doesn't mean it's "right." for instance if you are reading Richard Dawkins to discover the worth of spirituality you need to stop or at least understand the "agenda" behind what you are reading. If you are reading Pat Robertson to find out the wisdom of the Buddha then you need to stop! Or at least understand the worldview and motive that the writer is coming from. Now that doesn't mean that if you read  something or believe in something that you should constantly go back and forth between two extremes debunking one and proving the other. that could go on forever. But, you should think and understand where somebody or something is coming from that claims any kind of authority in your life or makes any kind of demand on who you are as a person.

Anyway, I thought I knew who God was and he certainly wasn't "wild." He was securely between the covers of the King James Bible and the hyms of Cherry Street Baptist Church or The Church of God of Prophecy. I went to Cherry Street on the church bus that would come through my neighborhood of Walnut Park. I went to the Church of God of Prophecy with my grandmother who truly lived the teachings and believed absolutely in her faith and the religion of the church. So, God couldn't be wild! He was who the preacher said he was on Sunday. He was my sky daddy and he was also angry at my "sins." I had a lot of sins. :-) I read books with monsters and ghost in them. I loved comic books. Raquel Welch and others made my "body" feel funny. I thought of "bad words" in my head. So, I had no room for a "wild god" since I was already trying to tread water with the love/wrath of the God of church.

 Now, don't get me wrong. I remember my baptism at Cherry Street and the warmth and wonder that I felt when I came up out of the water. I remember praying and feeling a peace and a protection many times in my youth and even now in my life. It wasn't all fire and brimstone and guilt. I thank my grandmother for the gift of prayer that has steadied me all the years of my life. So, this isn't a brick through the window of the "church" or a rant on the faith of my youth.

 I did however, lose my dogma as I got older. It wasn't the hypocritical actions of church members. I didn't lose my faith because a preacher slept with a woman or a church member went to the beer store. I lost my faith because the dogma just stopped making sense to me. I read some of the history of how the cannon of the bible was approved. I also used my own mind and some of the bible just didn't make sense to me. Still, the thought that every thing we are or have done is just an accident and we are nothing but brain chemicals didn't make sense to me or give me any hope.

The term "The Wild God" stayed with me. What if God really was able to draw all things unto him/her/universal self? What if love really was true? What if we were really the only ones who are responsible for what  and who and the way we react to the journey? Also, what about the prayers I had prayed the dreams I had/have and the relationship I have with my source. With the "Holy Spirit."

No, I couldn't believe and don't believe that "love" could ever order the slaughter of all the women and children in a village/camp. No, I could never believe that a "man of God" could ever dash a baby against a stone. No, I can't believe that wearing a wool shirt and a silk scarf could be an abomination to the Lord. :-) But, I could believe and do believe in a "God" who would come and take part in the human condition.

I've said it before and I'll say it now. To go up to a burning building with a fire hose and put out a fire and rescue a human or even a pet is a wonderful thing to do. It's heroic and it's admirable. But, love real "Love" doesn't just pull you out of the fire. Real love sees you in the fire and comes and sits down beside you. Real love isn't just being strong enough to pull you to physical safety. Real love is saying if you are going to go through the fire then I'm going though with you.

That's why I still call myself a Christian. Not because the bible says it and I believe it. Not because of virgin births and talking donkeys and bodies coming out of tombs. I still relate to Christ because he sits down with me and waits with me. I'll never be the fire and brimstone Christian of my youth again. I'll never be able to relate to the old time religion and the absolute "word" again. But, I do know that I have a "Journey Securely Bound." That's enough for now. It's all I know.

Note: The Journey Securely Bound is from a wonderful lady I knew back in the Gadsden Vinyard named Debbie Handy. The thoughts and words I have written are my own and they are not the blame of anybody else. But, that beautiful title "A Journey Securely Bound" belongs to Debbie and a book she put together of poems and writings many years ago and shared with the church. My theology isn't her theology. So, if anybody thinks this is heretical that's fine. It's the way I feel at this point in my journey.

Peace!