I created this blog to express my own thoughts and feelings. I understand that my thoughts are not all that urgent to others. It's like on facebook when somebody says "Wow, I ate chicken last night!" Really? OK! But, if it does find somebody who reads it and finds any part of it wise or silly or helpful in any way then that is great. If not, then I still have a place to ramble. So, here goes.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. - Hebrews 12:1-2
The great thing about the verse above (to me) is not the "sin" aspect. It's the thought that the very foundation and maker of being would love me enough to clothe him/her/itself with flesh and participate in the life, death and desperation of the human experience. That is love. Not a superman who saves us from ourself. But, a mother, father, brother, sister that takes the journey with us.
I have said in other places that I call myself a Christian Agnostic these days. By that I mean the faith I was raised in still has relevance to my journey and I have not jettisoned every aspect of faith. I have always had an inner dialog with God. I have also always been comfortable with the "picture" in my mind of the Judaeo-Christian way of looking at God. By that I mean that I have always separated the aspect of God into three persons. OK, that's more of an evangelistic Christian way of looking than a Jewish way. But, still most will know what I mean. Picture a little boy raised in the south of about 11 to 13 years old in the very late sixties to very early seventies. Now, this little boy has been brought up by his grandmother who is very devout and very pentacostal. My grandmother on the other side was very devout and very Southern Baptist. So, I (uhh, the little boy) :-) was thoroughly versed on being a born again Christian. Now, this little boy is at a sermon at Cherry Street Baptist Church and the preacher is not as firey as the Pentacostal preacher but still not a wall flower either. :-) Nobody does youth church with the drama and guilt and intensity any better than the Southern Baptist do. I speak as a family member here so don't get mad and think I'm bashing somebody from the outside. I'm just sayin. :-) Anyway, this was not a youth service but it was a Sunday sermon. The preacher says "Anybody who sins against God can be forgiven. Even if you sin against Jesus. But, a sin against the Holy Ghost will NEVER be forgiven. It's unpardonable. Now, this little boy was a voracious reader and had quite an active mind. There was an intense attack mentally on this boy. Call it psychological if it makes you feel better intellectually. If you feel better with the "evil demon" way of saying it then call it spiritual warfare. Or if like me you kind of look at it holistically then call it a little bit of both.
So, this young boy goes out into the back yard when he gets home and honestly although he doesn't hear audible voices, Thank God. (No pun intended.) He does have very real thoughts that seem to be out of or beyond his control to stop. Now, picture a new thought and a new inner dialog opening up. It would go something like this "I am the one who made and knows you." "I am not outside looking in like a fortune teller." " I am not shocked or angry at you." "Since the voices or thoughts are talking about me and asking about me, then just relax." "There is a room and a couch for you to relax on. See the door? I will answer it." Peace was there and although there were other times and years of inner turmoil the boy never, EVER forgot this moment. It brought comfort whenever the "thoughts" came back. So, I say that, to say this. I am not an atheist. I am not ready and do not intend to throw away my spiritual identity. But, I can't ever be a fundamentalist anymore either. It just doesn't work for me. The bible says it and I believe it and that settles it just has never worked for me. Now, let me relate one more experience or thought about religion here.
Imagine a Supreme Being. Now, this being is all knowing and is the actual ground of all reality. Not only is "he,she,it,they" outside the universe but he actually is the only "real" and absolute reality there is. Now, imagine a being of flesh and blood. Subject to chemicals and hormones and death, decay and disease. Imagine this creature who has no real knowledge of this Supreme Being except for his own intuition and dreams and apart from that some writings and visions from some people give who say they are prophets and seers. Now, imagine another being. This one shines like the a billion stars! Son of the Morning! This one was present at the very morning of creation of the flesh creature that is little more than a naked ape in relation to him. It would be like taking a 45 year old scientist and having him talk to a 6 year old child. It would be even greater than that. So, these are the players. Now, lets look at the following scenario:
The Supreme Being to the Son of the Morning. "See, those creatures down there?" I breathed life into them. They carry my spirit in them. But, on the other hand I am an Angry God! I get pissed off really easily when people disobey me." Now, on one hand I do love them but on the other I discipline them harshly when they get out of line. So, I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do." "I'm gonna send part of myself down to them. I'm gonna love them and live and even partake of what they call death."
Well, says the Son of the Morning, you didn't even give me that and yet you offer it to them? That's fair. (rolls eyes.)
"Wait, says the Supreme Being. You haven't heard the good part yet." I'm gonna send myself in a clay vessel and I'm gonna go to a little corner of the world." Now, if they can figure it out no matter where they come from and worship me then I'm gonna bring them into my kingdom." "But, I'm gonna give you the chance to fool em. If you can fool em then I'm gonna burn em up for ever and ever in eternal fire."
"Wait a minute" says the Son of the Morning. "You mean to tell me. All I have to do with my great knowledge and power and influence. All I have to do is fool those little naked apes and you will burn them? "Oh, My God, that's rich!" "I don't even have to reveal myself?" "You will take away all real knowledge of who they are and where they come from? "So, unless they happen to stumble into the right church or hear the right minister then I can have em? "Excuse me God but, that's a Hell of Deal!" "I'll take it"
So, there you have it. On one hand I absolutely will never turn my back on the source of my hope and sanity. But, I will also never understand the silliness of the dogmatic religious person either. I can't even begin to think of how somebody who thinks we are nothing but a chemical by product of the brain can walk around this world with no hope of ultimate justice and the peace of knowing the universe is ultimately true, just and loving. But, everybody wakes up in their own skin everyday. Until they don't. :-) But, on the other hand I can't believe the people who think the very source of love would be so flip and random with his children that he would allow even one to be forever lost because of some religious dogma. As a wise poster used to say in a forum I visited. "My bag!"
No comments:
Post a Comment