This started out as a meditative walk and talk with my maker. Then I decided to turn on my recorder and do a verbal vlog. So it might read a little oddly in places.
Fall. It's a different time of year.
The bluish Blues. The greenest greens. Are about to fade. In the South, some of the Intense heat. Is also about to break. And breathing will be a little easier outside. Kind of a trade-off, I guess.
I Have come to a place in life. Where I'm pretty sure. That we are beings of light. But I just watched a documentary on YouTube that reminded me of how dark humanity can be. The murder and the sexual attacks on children and And it's hard to believe that a being who could commit such a thing. Has anything at all to do with light. Or spirit.
But I tend to still think that. Because of my own experience in life that we are beings of light at our core.
I think about, Angry atheist, Fundamentalist Christians. Because those are the only two types that I really have experience with. The Christian, because I was born and raised a Christian. The atheist. Because Growing up. That was always the opposite. But they both have a peculiar world view to me. They see God. As an old man in the sky.
That has temper tantrums and anger, and is responsible for, Either all the beauty or all the darkness in the world or both.
I think they Have this Just so story. The Christians that Jesus will pull him out of tribulation (what do they think this is) and They'll be able to escape torment. The fact that others will be tormented, it just sucks to be them. The atheist that it's all a fairy tale and a sperm Lottery. Since they're not a child in a cancer ward, or A baby getting molested or a woman getting raped? Hey, it just sucks to be everybody else live for today.
My worldview has changed a lot over the years.
I no longer see God as an old man in the sky. That gets angry at me for something as silly as looking at a woman's shoulder or saying a bad word when I stubbed my toe.
But I don't. See life as being meaningless or blind. Good Lord, Evolution isn't even blind. It has purpose.
Everything on Earth appears to have purpose. I'm talking about species and Bodies and planets. And, you know, they all seem to serve A purpose. The smallest insect appears to have a purpose.
But, The reason I feel that I'm a being of light. That everyone is light. And i could be wrong. But I had an experience after meditating and falling asleep in between waking and Coming fully awake. All of a sudden I was in pure white light.
It was the most brilliant light I've ever seen. Brighter than the Sun and yet, it was so soft on my eyes. And I remember, Feeling like this was the beginning of everything that is, was and ever will be. "Let there be light "
I feel in that light. My loved ones that have passed were in that light. It was a beautiful feeling and it didn't last long, But for me, it was another signpost along the highway.
So now it's fall. And I'm in my 60s. Looking hard at my 70s. I sometimes wonder, and I don't want to be put me in a padded room but I generally wonder if time has speeded up somehow.
I no longer see God as an old man in the sky. That gets angry at me for something as silly as looking at a woman's shoulder or saying a bad word when I stubbed my toe.
But I don't. See life as being meaningless or blind. Good Lord, Evolution isn't even blind. It has purpose.
Everything on Earth appears to have purpose. I'm talking about species and Bodies and planets. And, you know, they all seem to serve A purpose. The smallest insect appears to have a purpose.
But, The reason I feel that I'm a being of light. That everyone is light. And i could be wrong. But I had an experience after meditating and falling asleep in between waking and Coming fully awake. All of a sudden I was in pure white light.
It was the most brilliant light I've ever seen. Brighter than the Sun and yet, it was so soft on my eyes. And I remember, Feeling like this was the beginning of everything that is, was and ever will be. "Let there be light "
I feel in that light. My loved ones that have passed were in that light. It was a beautiful feeling and it didn't last long, But for me, it was another signpost along the highway.
So now it's fall. And I'm in my 60s. Looking hard at my 70s. I sometimes wonder, and I don't want to be put me in a padded room but I generally wonder if time has speeded up somehow.
I understand The concept of physics on that level, and I know it can't have speeded up but man, it feels like it. Because this life has gone so fast. And who knew that I'd be so young when I was so old. Wow. I was 19 yesterday I'm telling you.
When it Turns to fall and it's not Fall in Alabama, yet. There's just a hint of it every once in a while. In the mornings and late at night. It takes a while for fall to come to Alabama.
But I'm outside and look at these green trees and the grass. At the blue sky. If you've never been to
Etowah County, Blount County, Alabama. In the spring and summer, you have no idea. Just what I'm talking about. The greens and blues are just Vivid. Even though Tuscaloosa County is about 120 miles Southwest of where i grew up. Today brought some memories.
Of course, I guess everybody says that about their experience In their own part of the world. Because it's true. I'm sure.
But it is amazing. And now, the leaves will turn and First, they'll turn colors and that'll look nice and the grass will get sparser and less High. But then, come around November, December. I'll really start missing the Greenery when I can see the bare ground the bare tree limbs, and The sparse leaves.
And It starts getting cold sometime in December. Or so, and it will. As I watch a hummingbird right now, It will be a different world.
And I think about life and death a lot, I think about how fast it's gone by. You know, I think about For instance. My uncle way back. In Altoona, Alabama. He was a tremendous Alabama football fan. He would have been Happy if he had of lived through the Nick Saban years.
And now, I look at Alabama, about to get a new coach, they have a new coach actually. I hope not about to have another one for several years. And I think this could well be the last one of my lifetime. Coaching change i mean. I know it's silly but many guys from my state use college football as a marker through life.
When it Turns to fall and it's not Fall in Alabama, yet. There's just a hint of it every once in a while. In the mornings and late at night. It takes a while for fall to come to Alabama.
But I'm outside and look at these green trees and the grass. At the blue sky. If you've never been to
Etowah County, Blount County, Alabama. In the spring and summer, you have no idea. Just what I'm talking about. The greens and blues are just Vivid. Even though Tuscaloosa County is about 120 miles Southwest of where i grew up. Today brought some memories.
Of course, I guess everybody says that about their experience In their own part of the world. Because it's true. I'm sure.
But it is amazing. And now, the leaves will turn and First, they'll turn colors and that'll look nice and the grass will get sparser and less High. But then, come around November, December. I'll really start missing the Greenery when I can see the bare ground the bare tree limbs, and The sparse leaves.
And It starts getting cold sometime in December. Or so, and it will. As I watch a hummingbird right now, It will be a different world.
And I think about life and death a lot, I think about how fast it's gone by. You know, I think about For instance. My uncle way back. In Altoona, Alabama. He was a tremendous Alabama football fan. He would have been Happy if he had of lived through the Nick Saban years.
And now, I look at Alabama, about to get a new coach, they have a new coach actually. I hope not about to have another one for several years. And I think this could well be the last one of my lifetime. Coaching change i mean. I know it's silly but many guys from my state use college football as a marker through life.
I remember the prettiest girl in Altoona, Alabama. And I know how fast life has gone by. And we're all getting old.
It's just an odd feeling.
You know. If I had a regret. And I have a couple. It's mainly the way I've treated other people in my lifetime. The way I'm treated creatures. Dogs cats.
Wanting to be sure that I've treated people Well and I know I haven't always And you want to go back and fix it, but, you know, you can't.
We're all given much Grace at the end of this journey. I truly feel that's so.
It's just an odd feeling.
You know. If I had a regret. And I have a couple. It's mainly the way I've treated other people in my lifetime. The way I'm treated creatures. Dogs cats.
Wanting to be sure that I've treated people Well and I know I haven't always And you want to go back and fix it, but, you know, you can't.
We're all given much Grace at the end of this journey. I truly feel that's so.
Tolkien wrote "Does Everything sad become untrue?"
What a wonderful thought to have and hold.
I'm at that age where Politics doesn't bother me much anymore. It really doesn't.
If I didn't have a son. I wouldn't be that concerned because i'm So old it won't matter to me not many years down the road. And yet that's not quite true. I'd still care.
But it no longer really feels like My My world anymore. I feel more like i'm just renting space. I'm just passing through and I don't mean that in a religious sense like those old hymns I grew Up with. I just mean it. Period. I close my eyes and Prayerfully, meditatively look up. No list, no gimme this or do that. Just listen. Just Be!
Feel the presence. Try to listen. I have a list of things I want, but I try to listen.
Feel the presence. Try to listen. I have a list of things I want, but I try to listen.
Because when you've had heart surgery, And you felt,
That muscle. That's beating your whole life. Start to slow down or speed up. And you realize how fragile the rest of your life is going to be it puts it in perspective. You don't stop being human. You don't stop looking at Pretty people of the opposite sex. I could use some money to pay a bill. Win a lottery, but you quit. Looking at it as Be all end all.
That muscle. That's beating your whole life. Start to slow down or speed up. And you realize how fragile the rest of your life is going to be it puts it in perspective. You don't stop being human. You don't stop looking at Pretty people of the opposite sex. I could use some money to pay a bill. Win a lottery, but you quit. Looking at it as Be all end all.
I have said before. There is a book that I read later in life. Called autobiography of a yogi.
And in that book chapter 43, It takes about an hour to listen to it on Audible. I think it's a long chapter. Or maybe 45 minutes. But it's called the resurrection of SriYukeswar. Excuse my spelling.
It's had a big impact on me sometime When I meditate, I listen to that. While I meditate. Or listen to it before, or when I'm going to sleep, I don't do it a lot. But sometimes. Because it feels to me, you know, some thing's resonate with you. There are things that you hear or you see. And it just feels. Like it belongs to you that chapter Is one of those things for me.
Not because I think that it's the gospel truth. No pun intended. But because the concepts of it, Feel right to me.
In my Christian Upbringing. The hardest thing for me. Was to finally admit. That while I believe that. Jesus indeed appeared. After his death, I didn't believe that. Physical bodies. Molecules and sexual organs knitted back together. Came out of Graves. But I've always actually had a feeling. Of spiritual reality.
And in that book, Chapter 43. It talks about The gross physical body, the astral body that we're connected to. And the casual body which is just pure Consciousness and it rang a bell with me. I think it's because I've got or I've always had A little snippet of memory of a past life and You know, I I don't go around trying to convert people to anything.
Because I don't think it matters. I think all that matters is that you see the light in other creatures and people And try to be as kind As you can be. At any given time.
But that chapter helped me to articulate at least for myself. Some of the reasons. That I have hope. As I approach. The seventh decade of my life on Earth if I should reach that decade.
So that's why chapter 43 is so important to me. Does it mean that I Agree with every inch of the philosophy in it? Of course, not. Am I going to become a Hindu? No, no. Not today. I'm not gonna renounce My faith that I was born in. No, I never have. I have left the dogma. But other people.Pretty much told me, I have to believe in this and this in order to be What I was brought up as but I never really was good at taking direction from other people.
So, here I am. I think I'm playing with house money. I thought that ever since I Had the heart surgery. Everything later is just gravy. That Uncle who I always loved still do. He didn't get past 65 on Earth in this life. My mother recently passed at 84. And my dad is In his 90s.
But I had a feeling. Before my surgery that I might not make it out of my 60s, After surgery, I felt like i might Indeed make it out of my 60s but I can tell you When you had that kind of procedure. You don't know how you'll feel when you wake up and it was Rocky and it still is sometimes.
But I've come to a place where I think it's all one Eternal moment. And it's not quantity. It's every day. Day by day And every day of being able to Pray or Meditate or just be It's a gift. I don't always use it right and I gripe and I Grumble and I cuss and I wish I'd done this and I wish I'd done that, and if I'd have only done this or that, But ultimately, I feel like I'm surrounded by light.
So, In the words of Yogananda.
I'm immersed in Thine Eternal Light.
It fills every particle of my being.
I'm living in that light. The Divine Spirit fills me within and without.
And in that book chapter 43, It takes about an hour to listen to it on Audible. I think it's a long chapter. Or maybe 45 minutes. But it's called the resurrection of SriYukeswar. Excuse my spelling.
It's had a big impact on me sometime When I meditate, I listen to that. While I meditate. Or listen to it before, or when I'm going to sleep, I don't do it a lot. But sometimes. Because it feels to me, you know, some thing's resonate with you. There are things that you hear or you see. And it just feels. Like it belongs to you that chapter Is one of those things for me.
Not because I think that it's the gospel truth. No pun intended. But because the concepts of it, Feel right to me.
In my Christian Upbringing. The hardest thing for me. Was to finally admit. That while I believe that. Jesus indeed appeared. After his death, I didn't believe that. Physical bodies. Molecules and sexual organs knitted back together. Came out of Graves. But I've always actually had a feeling. Of spiritual reality.
And in that book, Chapter 43. It talks about The gross physical body, the astral body that we're connected to. And the casual body which is just pure Consciousness and it rang a bell with me. I think it's because I've got or I've always had A little snippet of memory of a past life and You know, I I don't go around trying to convert people to anything.
Because I don't think it matters. I think all that matters is that you see the light in other creatures and people And try to be as kind As you can be. At any given time.
But that chapter helped me to articulate at least for myself. Some of the reasons. That I have hope. As I approach. The seventh decade of my life on Earth if I should reach that decade.
So that's why chapter 43 is so important to me. Does it mean that I Agree with every inch of the philosophy in it? Of course, not. Am I going to become a Hindu? No, no. Not today. I'm not gonna renounce My faith that I was born in. No, I never have. I have left the dogma. But other people.Pretty much told me, I have to believe in this and this in order to be What I was brought up as but I never really was good at taking direction from other people.
So, here I am. I think I'm playing with house money. I thought that ever since I Had the heart surgery. Everything later is just gravy. That Uncle who I always loved still do. He didn't get past 65 on Earth in this life. My mother recently passed at 84. And my dad is In his 90s.
But I had a feeling. Before my surgery that I might not make it out of my 60s, After surgery, I felt like i might Indeed make it out of my 60s but I can tell you When you had that kind of procedure. You don't know how you'll feel when you wake up and it was Rocky and it still is sometimes.
But I've come to a place where I think it's all one Eternal moment. And it's not quantity. It's every day. Day by day And every day of being able to Pray or Meditate or just be It's a gift. I don't always use it right and I gripe and I Grumble and I cuss and I wish I'd done this and I wish I'd done that, and if I'd have only done this or that, But ultimately, I feel like I'm surrounded by light.
So, In the words of Yogananda.
I'm immersed in Thine Eternal Light.
It fills every particle of my being.
I'm living in that light. The Divine Spirit fills me within and without.
Peace!
