2015:
58 years! I have grown up with people who are now 58 or approaching 58 or 59 and even 60. The youngest of the baby boomers! That's us. We grew up on rock and roll and t.v.. We lived through Vietnam and Watergate. A president was murdered in our childhood. A man walked on the moon. I remember something as I toss and try to sleep. A picture in the paper as 1969 was giving way to 1970. Back then there was a little cartoon in the paper depicting "Baby New Year" and the "Old year."

 Baby New Year of 1970 was fresh and ready to take over. But, as old man 1969 walked off stage he tossed (sorry, it's been a long time ago and my memory isn't perfect. But, it was something like this) Anyway, he tossed a look back over his shoulder at a headline: Man walks on the Moon! "Beat That" says old man 1969 to Baby New Year 1970 as he continues off stage!

1976:
Beat That! Gotta be a way to beat that says my young self as I ponder  the state of my life. I live for 16 years in the same neighborhood and "she divorces him" and I find myself in this little coal mining town finishing up my high school years and full of anger and angst. Graduation coming up and I'll get out of here. Out of here. I do have to admit that there are perks to this little town. The grass is so green and the sky so blue and...But, I hate it, hate it, hate it! I'm going to go out and get blasted for the first time in my life after graduation. I know it's wrong. I well, I pray a lot and my grandmother is so religious and I feel really guilty but...

Hey kid! Why don't you stop worrying so much! Although, I admit you might be right not to totally be comfortable with drinking or getting blasted! Oh, if that were the only time and the only thing..but, years are coming and you will sleep through most of them.

Now, am I dreaming? At 58 or 59? Am I young or old? who is this kid? Old man? Anyway, I wish I could tell him...But, "he's" to self involved to listen. Hey, kid! Yeah, be proud of that hair :-) The reason you hate barbers so much? Well, right now it's just simply that you don't like getting hair cuts. But, you will miss it one day too. Maybe, on some level you know that...

19 years....I am faster than I've ever been in my life. I feel like I could run everywhere I go. Hey, look mister. Why are you so worried? "Thinking to myself that I wouldn't be worried at his age." :-) After all, how many years can he have left? Old people! Just chill! Now me! I'm young and I have time.

What does an 18 or 19 year old have to worry about kid? Hah, you don't know much of anything yet! But, I wish I could tell you something Kid.

I'd tell you something old dude if I really gave a crap that is...Why I'd tell you:

Life is too short to worry so much! It passes so quickly. Sometimes, you just need to breathe. Take a risk. Talk to her anyway...Take your family on a vacation...Stop worrying. After all it's time to live a little.

Okay, let's stop talking at the same time. Your older so go ahead tell me what you have learned....I may be young but I can tell you are just dying to "preach at me." Go ahead!

Well, first off. You need to really look at your grandparents. I know, but really. Granddaddy has lived hard. Worked in coal mines and came though the depression. Alcohol has taken a toll but it isn't "who or what" he is.  Really look! Talk to him and even get out of you own ass long enough to give him a hug and some little bit of your "so important" time.

Your grandmother. Remember her telling you that her family was "Shanty Irish" when her daddy was young? You never listen to her stories though do you? Do you know there is more to her than being a religious person? Do you also realize in the coming years how much those fanatic prayers will sustain you in your own moments when you are talking to God yourself? Really look at her. Give her a hug. Look at people! Wake up!

Stop selling yourself so short! Stop living other peoples expectations of you. Stop living others religion and others sense of beauty and prejudice. Look at yourself! No, really look. Wake up!

Well, okay mister...But, let me tell you something! You have a family. You have a wife that actually cares what you do and where you go. You have a son! Part of you. Blood and genes and life that you have a part of. Life is short and you have a chance to enjoy this part of it! You still have pretty good health. Although, you need to stop being a glutton at the table. Dang dude! You put it away! Sorry about your hair though! But, really mister. Wake Up! Live and stop worrying so much about what other people think. What are you 65 or so? I mean I don't know if I'll ever get that old. Sorry, that wasn't polite. But, Oh, only 58! Well sorry, but at my age all you older people look like my parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles. But, really. Wake up! Relax.

I'll tell you something else young man...you need to go ahead and decide. Go to Gadsden State and take some classes. You can work and take classes.Did you know if you join the Air Force right now that you could retire before 40 years old and start another career if you wanted to that is. Meet people, relax. Live!

Also, stop worrying. Yeah, there is a "God" maybe not the angry old man that you are so afraid will strike you down for that "skin magazine" you hid under your uncles house the other day. How do I know? I know a little. That first ever cigarette really made you light headed didn't it? Yeah, she does smoke and she is sexy. Well, guess what? Her opinion of you isn't the most important thing in life. Look around. Live a little. It goes by way to fast and you have your own head way to far up your own butt!

Live a little. Breathe. Don't stop talking to God even when the people around you think you must be nuts. It'll help you keep your sanity. It's also a big part of who you are. Always has been. Gets a little harder once you put aside the religious certainty. But, still...

Go to that Kiss concert in Birmingham. Oh well, you say that you don't like feeling like the third wheel so let Ricky and Deborah go. Well, Okay but you will really regret not going to more concerts!

Take your family to the beach...Hey, you live within 4 hours well, 6 the way you drive. But go ahead. Live a little.

One  more thing kid...This little slice of hell? You will look back one day and really miss these green hills and that blue sky. No, you shouldn't stay here. But, you should look around a little bit. Hell? Well, let's just say that word might not mean what you think it does. ;-)

1976201510151976Now:

Now: I gotta get going. Weird dreams and crazy thoughts and it's 3:30 and man what my thoughts get up to on these nights I can't sleep..Thinking about my youngoldyoungoldyoung...myself. Gotta finish out this year and get to the future. After all I'm young and it's early....get to work after all the I have responsibilities and I'm not young,old, young. these days.



And you, of the tender years can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth, they seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well, their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they fix,the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you....Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Peace!